Avatar Image
about 3 years ago

Graham Spanier: Amateur Movie Reviewer

A Masterful PerformanceAs if being a magician, juggler and University President weren’t enough, once again Graham Spanier has released his annual list of movie reviews. There are only twelve (compared to last year’s 17), but I feel they offer some fascinating insight into the mind of the G-Span.

First off, he respects those who use big budgets. Forget the lack of a memorable story-line or Attack of the Clones-esque terrible dialogue, Spanier gives Avatar 4 stars for being a “visual extravaganza” and called “the most expensive movie ever made” worth the price.

He also shows a fascinating interest in and ignorance of the Twilight saga. In his review, he says the following:

The first movie was actually quite good, but this second try in what threatens to be an ongoing series was disappointing.

How he hasn’t figured out that there will be two more movies no matter how godawful they are is somewhat baffling. Almost as baffling as him actually liking Twilight in the first place.

All in all, none of his ratings are particularly bold, instead sticking with what the major reviewers have said. If he really wanted to surprise us, he would have given Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel 4 stars for David Cross and Jason Lee keeping a straight face the whole movie.

What movies have you all seen this break, and what are your opinions on Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes as Batman?

[Pic]

  • Alex Federman

    I’ve seen The Princess and the Frog, Up in the Air, Avatar, and Sherlock Holmes.  I have to say, I liked Sherlock Holmes more than Avatar because of Avatar’s ridiculously stupid plot.  Sure, it was visually impressive, but I didn’t really care about any of the characters.  Up in the Air was good too, just kind of long (however, several people I saw it with are getting sick of George Clooney).

  • Evan Kalikow

    I was disappointed that a few of Spanier’s reviews were just short summaries of the movies. He gave An Education 4/4 stars, but all he could say about it was a single sentence that was about as helpful as an IMDB summary. Hopefully his reviews next year will have a few more opinions in them. Is that too much to ask?