Monthly Archives: February, 2011

Tomfoolery
0 DOTD: State Patty’s Day Edition

It isn’t easy going back to the life of classwork after straight boozing for a full 18-or-so hours. Penn State, as a whole, just went H.A.M this weekend and the start of the week couldn’t be more loathed. So, in order to suspend reality, we have some hilarious YouTube videos for tools of procrastination. Not just any viral vids, State Patty’s Day madness that has made the web. Call it, State.0.

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News
0 Lady Lions Finish Regular Season With a Win

The Penn State women’s basketball team finished the regular season with a win, beating Northwestern 66-56 on Sunday in the fifth annual WBCA Pink Zone at Penn State game. The victory gave the Lady Lions second place in the Big Ten as they head into the Big Ten Tournament next week.

With the win, Penn State finishes the regular season at 22-8 overall and 11-5 in the Big Ten. They finish in the second spot in the Big Ten standings, which is their best result since winning the Big Ten in 2004.

Next up for the Lady Lions is a trip to Indianapolis to play in the Big Ten Tournament. Penn State will play the winner of Purdue-Indiana on March 4 at 11:30 a.m.

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0 Bolden Still Unsure About Future at Penn State

Rising sophomore quarterback Rob Bolden remains uncertain of his future at Penn State, accordingto an interview done yesterday with FightOnState.com’s Mark Brennan. Many expected that Bolden’s decision to return for the spring semester indicated that he would be sticking around for his sophomore season, but Bolden’s comments on Sunday suggested that a transfer may still be an option following spring practice.

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0 Entertainment Promoters Deliver On Point

You may have heard of an organization that has been growing in popularity on campus. They market themselves as entertainment promoters and producers. OnPoint Ent. is an organization that aims to help students unwind and relieve their stress, primarily through dance parties. If you’ve been to one of their events, you know their DJs lay down some serious tracks. But OnPoint is looking to expand its horizons, and to do so its members are holding a meeting this Sunday for anyone interested in joining.

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News
0 Onward State Picks the Oscars

The Academy Awards are tonight, but if you’re looking for last-minute advice in your Oscar pool, well, we’re not here to help you. We here at Onward State have quite the assemblage of movie buffs, and we figured it would be far more interesting to go around the table and pick who we think should win. No, our votes don’t count, but they probably should.

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0 State Patty’s Day Update: Quantity Over Quality

Whoever said State Patty’s day was just for the kids clearly didn’t have their heads on straight, because as of 10:30 a.m. this morning, there are old-timers taking part in today’s activities. How old do you ask?

42-years-old, to be exact.

Earlier this morning, a 42-year-old male was found running down Allen Street, stealing parking tickets from cars’ windshields. According to State College police, the man’s blood alcohol content was .364. That’s just one of the many incidents reported from this morning.

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0 Natty Nittany: State Patty’s Edition!

In honor of State Patty’s day, I thought I would hit the streets to see the fashion do’s and don’ts that are running rampant around state college. As I predicted, everyone looks like a hot mess. But I think that’s part of the charm of State Patty’s day. You can walk around looking like Ke$ha, doing things that are usually covered by the dark of night or just by an RV at tailgating, and it’s OK to look like a cross between Snooki and a leprechaun (or are they the same thing?).

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0 State Patty’s: Making the Best of It for State College

Can you imagine a State Patty’s Day where there was more than just drinking? A day with live music, food, AND excessive green? Rather than continue the debate between whether State Pattys day falls in line with Penn State traditions past, or if the day-long alcohol binge stands out as a scar on the spring semester, we should accept that State Patty’s day is here for the foreseeable future and likely isn’t going anywhere.

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0 Stay Safe on State Patty’s

You don’t have to lie to us, you’re going to be drinking on State Patty’s Day. Lucky for you, we made a handy reference card to keep you out of jail — or worse — the bed of an uggo.

Serving Sizes:
Beer — 12 oz. (one can or bottle, little less than a pint)
Malt Liquor — 8.5 oz
Wine — 5 oz (a wine glass)
Four Loko — 6 oz (about a fourth of a can)
Liquor — 1.5 oz (single shot)

Drinks it takes to be “binge drinking”:
For men — 5
For women — 4

Number of drinks your body processes in an hour — 1

Fines for underage drinking:
First offense — $300 + court costs  (comes to $438.50) and license suspension for 90 days
Second offense — $500v + court costs (comes to $638.50) and a year license suspension

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0 Know Your Rights on State Patty’s Day

This year, the State College community has focused all their efforts on fighting the “menace” that is State Patty’s Day. They’re bringing in the cavalry, police from beyond just Centre County in an attempt to halt our drunken revelry. But if you know your rights, your chances of making it through State Patty’s with a clean record can rise exponentially.

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0 Street Love Tour 2011: An Alternate State Patty’s

Looking for something to do Saturday that does not involve staying inside all day or being a State Patty’s Day asshole? Alliance Christian Fellowship, Campus Crusade For Christ, and Navigators are teaming up for the first ever Street Love Tour.

The event, beginning at 1 p.m. on Saturday, is modeled after a house crawl, minus the alcohol. The Around-The-World-themed tour kicks off at 120 West Fairmount Avenue and will continue on to stops on Allen Street, Atherton Street, Burrowes Street, and Park Avenue.

Each location will be geared toward a certain country, and plenty of music, food, and drinks (non-alcoholic, of course) will be provided.

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0 Battle Hits Milestone As Penn State Downs Northwestern

Talor Battle became the first Big Ten player in history to score 2,000 points, dish out 500 assists and grab 500 rebounds in his career with his 13-point, 3-assist performance on Thursday night as Penn State kept their slim tourney hopes alive by defeating Northwestern 66-52.

Penn State has two regular season games left to state their case for the NCAA Tournament. Games against Ohio State and Minnesota leading up to the Big Ten Tournament will be crucial to the Nittany Lions’ Selection Sunday delegation.

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0 Other Colleges Can Make Fake Holidays, Too!

State Patty’s has become a phenomenon here at Happy Valley and has given Penn State a fake holiday to call its own. Perhaps someday it will join the ranks of other cherished fake holidays, such as National Talk like a Pirate Day and Arbor Day. As it turns out, we have a lot of competition in the college drinking event arena. Other colleges have been scheduling days to champion the increased rate of liver failure for a long time. But how do their Beermitsvahs compare to our own SPD?

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0 Astronaut & Spacey: Friday Alternatives

It has come to our attention that the music selection of the general population is less than admirable. Nickelback isn’t cool. Gucci Mane isn’t icy. Ke$ha is ugly. Being the philanthropists that we are, we have undertaken the calling for the creation of a less shitty/more diverse music scene here at Penn State. Ergo, we are proud to present to you: Friday Alternatives. Prepare yourself for a dive into the recesses of the alternative scene.

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0 Football Uniform to Lose Trim

For the first time in decades, the Penn State football uniform is set for a change. According to the Allentown Morning Call, Guido D’Elia told a class at Penn State that the uniforms were likely to lose the contrasting trim on the sleeves and collar. The move brings the uniforms back to the Kerry Collins era styling and stands to make the already plain uniforms even more plain.

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0 3OH!3 to Play HUB

Crunk-pop band 3OH!3 is scheduled to perform on Friday, March 18th in Alumni Hall at 10 P.M. as a part of SPA LateNight. There will be no tickets for this event. Students with valid PSU ID will be let in for free on a first come, first serve basis.

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0 Don’t Celebrate (But Buy Our T-Shirts)

There has been a lot of talk about how the students are the problem when it comes to State Patty’s Day. We are the ones getting drunk in public, causing damage and urinating everywhere. Despite widespread condemnation from the State College community, there are those outside of the Penn State student body who support this event.

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0 Hi-Ho Ne-Yo!

On my off time, I love to talk about music, movies and everything in between. Just as I do with my friends, I had a nice conversation with R&B sensation and actor, Ne-Yo, a.k.a Shaffer Smith about his upcoming album, working on his newest film and life as a dual-threat in the media scene.

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0 State Patty’s Day: A View From The Moderate

I will not be partaking in State Patty’s Day festivities this weekend. This choice has been influenced by the dismantling I’ve seen done to the downtown area over the past three years. Although I won’t be covered in shamrocks or chugging green beer this weekend, I encourage anyone who wants to to do so. Let me explain.

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0 UPUA Approves Lewistown Shuttle, Readies for Elections

Toward the end of last night’s University Park Undergraduate Association meeting, Director of Finance Steven Hitchan revealed that the UPUA budget still has $86,000 left, minus money to be spent on Movin’ On and the S-Book. So there’s a ton of money left to be spent (it doesn’t carry over to next year) and somehow the Student Activity Fee is still going up in the fall. Go figure. All legislation except one policy was approved unanimously. The most interesting piece was a resolution that will put in place a shuttle from State College to the Lewistown Amtrak station through Nittany Express, Inc.

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Features
0 10 Questions with PHC President Paige Rothaus

In between the awe-inspiring chaos of THON and the looming headaches in the leadup to and fallout from State Patty’s Day, the Greek community is very busy this time of year. Luckily, Panhellenic Council President Paige Rothaus answers our questions about the current state of the Greeks at Penn State and moving forward.

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0 Building a Better THON

THON is an incredible event. For 46 hours, we forget the differences between us Penn State students that divide us for 362 days a year, and come together for a cause that’s just about as noble as it gets. It’s inspiring enough before you even consider what actually goes on over the course of the weekend–the dancers refusing to sit or sleep, the BJC packed with supporters, and families and children getting one weekend to either just be a kid or to celebrate life. But that doesn’t mean it’s perfect, because, frankly, nothing is. THON as a charity might be above reproach, but the event can certainly be improved. We posed that task to the Onward State staff, who responded with a variety of suggested changes.

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0 March Against Rising Tuition Comes Up Short

If you were one of the may students who were NOT at the March Against Raising Tuition yesterday, you’re not alone. With roughly 100 participants, the rally could be seen as a total flop. But how? What went wrong? Aren’t we all angry about the out of control debt the administration is forcing upon students? I’m sure no one wants to pay even more to attend Penn State, but why then was a march to address the issue poorly received? The answer is clear. We just really don’t care.

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