You Want a Football Coach Search Committee? Here You Go.
Yesterday, (curiously) around the same time as Ohio State’s press conference to announce Urban Meyer as their new head coach, Penn State released the news that a committee will search for their next head football coach.
The six-person committee, headed by acting Athletic Director David Joyner, includes Linda Caldwell (Penn State faculty athletics representative), Charmelle Green (Penn State associate athletic director and senior woman administrator), Ira Lubert (chairman and co-founder, Independence Capital Partners and Lubert Adler Partners), John Nichols (emeritus professor, Penn State College of Communications, and chair, Coalition on Intercollegiate Athletics), and Russ Rose (head coach, Penn State women’s volleyball).
Now, while all of these selections certainly have impressive credentials, I still see room for improvement. With that in mind, my selections for the committee are listed below.
Mr. Miyagi – Miyagi evaluates talent with the best of them and will take a patient, deliberate approach to the process. In the wake of so many snap judgments, we could use a little of that.
The Ghost of Ernie McCoy – This former Penn State athletic director selected Penn State’s head football coach the last time they needed to replace one…in 1966. His track record appears to be up to snuff.
Bugs Bunny – If the guy (er, bunny) found a way to get Michael Jordan to coach up the Tune Squad in another entire dimension, I trust him to find Penn State a football coach.
Patches O’Houlihan – Has any man been able to get more out of less than Patches? Penn State may need those skills if boosters refuse to put up big bucks. Plus, when questioned on the rumors that will inevitably swirl throughout this process, he can “dodge, duck. dip, dive, and dodge” with the best of ‘em.
A BCS Computer – Who knows what it takes to win in college football more than 1/3 of the reason the entire system sucks?
Someone…anyone…from the Rooney family – I don’t care if it’s the family dog, just give me a Rooney. That family can flat out discover coaching talent.
Buddy Garrity – He brought Eric Taylor back to Dillon. Bring Coach Taylor to Happy Valley, Buddy. Please.
And a few we’re happy to say did not make the cut…
Andy Reid – Come on. The guy hired last year’s offensive line coach into this year’s defensive coordinator. You can guess how that turned out.
Willlard Preacher – Every interview would just wind up in him rambling, causing every candidate to eventually leave unnoticed.
The Backyard Brawl – The Pitt and WVU football programs have, combined, had as many head coaches employed this year as Penn State has had since 1923.
13 Responses to “You Want a Football Coach Search Committee? Here You Go.”
Where’s the representation from the students?
If I were to select a coach, these would be my potential candidates to look into and you can disagree if you want:
that’s all I got so far
I cannot stand that Joyner is the Athletic Director. This guy isn’t committed to restoring the football program’s reputation. He’s dedicated to empowering the Board of Trustee’s and covering up their ugly wrong doings. I wouldn’t be surprised if they appointed a board member to the head coaching position.
Where is the football knowledge on this committee? Great we have a women’s volleyball coach selecting a football coach. Wonderful
How do you like the way the BOT spins this as a FOOTBALL problem. Guess thats better than looking in the mirror.
died at buddy garrity lol
peyton manning would be awesome
He would be a great choice. I know how much he wants to play for the Colts again, but the medical situation he’s in is just too risky. Just one more bad hit could mean paralysis. He has the leadership qualities and skills to make a great impact and has the credentials to back it up.
Do you even know who David Joyner is????
Former All-American Oline Tackle at PSU during the early 70′s. Guy has a great repuation and word is that he and Ira Lupert (who brought wrestling legend Cael Sanderson to PSU several years ago) are the ones running the coaching search and the others are just rubber stampers. Search committee=PR move nothing more.
Mullen would be a good choice but my top wish is to get Kyle Whittingham from UTAH. Ridiculous record, went 13-0 and won BCS bowl game that year. Only 51. This guy is an older Urban Meyer.
Had to get my requisite Friday Night Lights reference in there.
Buddy Garrity was a brillient choice. PSU Forever.
Absolutley perfect FNL reference. PSU Forever.
Thanks, Shawn. Look for another one tomorrow…
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