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about 2 years ago

Overheard on Twitter: Steven Bench Announces Presidential Candidacy

Steven Bench President

You might not have heard yet, but there’s actually a Penn State student running for the office of President of the United States today: Backup quarterback Steven Bench.

Bench might not have the best football stats (2-8, 12 yards on the year), he has the best Twitter account on the team. While he’s biding his time on the “bench” waiting for McGloin to graduate, he must developed his platform to run for president, which I’m sure consists of points such as:

Moving Penn State to Florida or somewhere else warm.

Free Pumpkin Spiced Lattes for everyone.

Having lots of attractive vampires around at all times.

Eliminate lines at the Waffle Shop.

And we know he’ll have at least two votes, the #BenchDogs!

So if you’re still undecided, consider voting Steven Bench for President!

image Dave Cole
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