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about 2 years ago

Willard Preacher Gets Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball

Shawn Inglima

Gary Cattell, commonly known as the Willard Preacher to the students of Penn State, wowed onlookers last Wednesday after delivering a sermon while using a Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball. Made famous by late night commercials, the Magic Gravity Ball is just a contact juggling ball that looks cool when used.

According to Cattell, the Fushigi drew in one of the largest crowds he has ever seen, surpassing even the crowd formed when political science professor Errol Henderson confronted the Preacher about his sermons.

Gerald Garcia (senior – marketing), who typically walked by the front of Willard without even glancing at the Preacher, couldn’t help but watch Cattell talk for hours.

“Those moves were so crazy!” Garcia told reporters. “I wasn’t really a fan of the whole ‘you’re going to hell if you have sex’ propaganda he was spouting off about, but FUSHIGI!!”

When asked how he was able to use the Magic Gravity Ball so amazingly, Cattell claimed that it was fairly easy for him to learn as he had the spare time to practice.

“What do you think I’m doing between classes, or when I’m home?” the Willard Preacher explained. “I’m practicing using my Fushigi. That’s all I do in my down time these days. I’m either preaching or practicing this. That’s my life.”

As of press time, the Willard Preacher has been offered various gigs to deliver sermons while using the Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball at birthday parties and bat mitzvahs.

By Andrew Moore of Penn State’s humor magazine, Phroth. Facebook | Twitter