Ever since I made the decision to attend Penn State, gift giving has been a no-brainer. Penn State this, Penn State that. Penn State has effectively cut my holiday shopping time by approximately half. Walk into any store on College Avenue and you’ll find something for everyone on your shopping list — and it’ll all be Penn State-themed.
That being said, there are several items on the shelves of local stores and boutiques that go a bit overboard with the blue and white. Or am I losing my mind and there can never be enough Penn State gear? You decide.
Here are some of the most unorthodox Penn State items sold in downtown State College.
Penn State fly swatter: Available at McLanahan’s for $5.99. Penn State-1, Fly-0. Perhaps a WE ARE chant is in order after every victorious swat.
But WAIT! The Student Book Store offers TWO types of fly swatters!! Oh, the choices!
The fly swatter pictured on the left is a value pack, and comes with not one, but two Penn State fly swatters for $6.99!
Penn State hardware: I don’t know about you, but I only open Penn State drawers. Available at McLanahan’s for $8.99
If the DishNetwork logo is just too heinous for you and your home, here’s a grand solution. McLanahan’s, $24.99
Penn State perfume for women: Do you smell that? That’s the fragrance of victory. I haven’t caught a whiff of it, but I assume it smells like Joe Paterno, whatever he smelled like. McLanahan’s, $39.99
Penn State spices: Tastes like, uh, spices, but they’re exceptional because of that Nittany Lion logo on the label. I wonder how long these have been on the shelves of McLanahan’s…
Penn State nuts are the best nuts. Get them at the Student Book Store for $7.50.
Penn State Gumball Machine: At McLanahan’s for a modest $14.99. Simple, portable gum packets that fit in your pocket are so overrated, so who wouldn’t want a gumball machine in the shape of a football?
Penn State propane tank cover: Wouldn’t want someone looking for my spatula under the outdoor grill to forget where I went to college! Only $9.99 at McLanahan’s. Not too bad for a tank accessory!
Sunburn red isn’t one of our school colors. Buy one bottle for $4.99, or two for $6.99 at the Student Book Store!
If the possibility of decapitating the lion excites you, hurry, because this set of three golf tees is the last one available at Got Used Bookstore. You can find it on the sale rack for $9.99, and it comes with a golf ball, too!!
Online shopping doesn’t disappoint either. Here are a couple of Penn State-themed goodies found on McLanahan’s website:
Penn State paperclip holder: Can’t guarantee the paperclips are in the shape of the Nittany Lion. You can get it for $19.99 here.
Penn State toaster: I don’t believe it burns a Nittany Lion logo on your toast. You can put a sticker on your existing toaster, or otherwise spend $39.99 on this one.
Have you seen any obscure Penn State gifts recently? Let us know in the comments.