It’s hard to motivate yourself to leave your room/apartment and subject yourself to the polar vortex that is State College to study. It’s even harder to actually focus when the 8th (and best) wonder of the world, the Internet, is right at your fingertips. But once you manage to get to your classic study spot and turn off your wifi, all should go well, right? Probably not, someone around you is likely to be doing one or more of these annoying these.
1) Pencil Tapping
Remember when making sick beats with your pen/pencil made you the coolest kid in school? Yeah well sorry, your glory days are long gone and your chronic pencil tapping needs to stop. NOW.
2) Bringing In Smelly Foods
Maybe I could’ve blocked out your buddy who thinks he’s an up and coming drummer but unfortunately I don’t have a pair of nose plugs. The stench of your tuna sandwich leftover from lunch needs to go. Or worse yet, that fresh Chipotle burrito and that warmed grilled sticky is literally going to make me start drooling. No one wants to see that. Save yourself the calories and save me the inconvenience. If you’re really starving bring something neutral like a good ol’ pb&j.
3) Leg/Body Shaking
If you’ve made the effort to drag yourself to a study spot, you’re probably stressed. I get it. But please don’t try to shake the tension from your bones and inadvertently make the computer lab vibrate. Go throw a two-minute dance party in the bathroom or take a preemptive Mifflin streak. Do what you gotta do, as long as I don’t have to deal with your negative energy blocking my study chakras, gosh.
4) Fist Pumping/ Cheering
While I’m glad you finally figured out what Bayes’ Theorem actually means, I’ve been sitting here working on the same question for two hours. Please don’t remind how stupid/unproductive I am with our petty gestures of victory. If you really need to reward yourself pretend like you’re scratching your back and give yourself a small, but might pat on the back. Or just do what the rest of us do and take an Internet break.
5) Whispering and Giggling
If you came here to chat about that frat bro from last weekend with all of your main bitches, what’s the point of pulling your lecture notes up? You know who you are. Go home. Please.
6) Unnecessarily Taking Up A Bunch of Space
Okay, real talk. There is no way you’re using two laptops, five textbooks, eight highlighters (two of which are the same), and three calculators to do whatever it is you’re doing. No matter how often you work here, this study room is not your apartment. Get your (literal and figurative) shit together.
7) Snapchatting Like It’s Nobody’s Business
Ah, the selfie. Even if they pretend to be, nobody is above it. But save it for your drunken endeavors, your alone time, or even the bathroom mirror. It’s kind of disrespectful to the institution of the selfie to document something as terrible as studying and send it to everyone and their grandmothers.
8) Typing Loudly
I wholeheartedly admit to being a perpetrator of this heinous act. It’s obnoxious. Hitting the keys disgustingly loud doesn’t make your essay sound any less like bullshit. Be kind and considerate to your fellow peers.
9) Making Sound Effects
This may be the mother of all distractions. Please please don’t sigh/moan because you’re upset that you’re here instead of at Indigo with you’re buddies. We’re all in the same boat. Also, the deep breathing needs to stop. Go to yoga class or something.
When your friends told you to get a room they certainly did not mean this study room. Since studying isn’t fun for the rest of us, it’s not allowed to be fun for you. Next time, get a real room.