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about 7 months ago

Daylong Do’s and Don’ts

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It’s that time of the year again. After what seems like an entire year of winter, Mother Nature has finally graced us with some much-needed sunshine, which means at least one thing here at Penn State – daylong season. Just like any other party, there is a list of unwritten rules that one must abide by to insure each precious day of daylong season is executed correctly.

Timing

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Timing is key. If you don’t wake up until 2 p.m., you have already missed your window of opportunity. I can guarantee that by the time you’ve rolled yourself out of bed, pep-talked yourself out of dry heaving for 20 minutes, and walked to frat row, all your friends will be so far ahead of you in the drink count that there is little chance you’ll be able to catch up. And I’m speaking as if there’s still any alcohol left by the time you get there. Do yourself and everyone else a favor; if you wake up ridiculously late, stay in bed because it’s probably not worth the trouble anymore. There’s always next weekend, just plan to set an alarm.

Attire

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The second step to making your day at the Daylong amazing is to dress accordingly. I’m sure we can all agree that if the State College weather were a person, they’d be the most bi-polar, indecisive, and cranky bitch anyone’s ever set eyes on. So when you wake up that morning, check the weather immediately. It may look nice out, but the sun can be deceiving. One of the best parts about Daylong Season is being able to drink outside, so please dress accordingly. Bring a sweater, and maybe leave the high-waisted cut-offs at home for a couple more weeks. No one wants to hear you complain the whole time about how you’re cold because you decided to wear a crop-top when your weather app said it wouldn’t reach more than 52 degrees. This brings me to my next point: ladies, this is NOT the time for stilettos and a bodycon dress. You will stick out like a sore thumb. Waited to get dolled up later on that night when everyone else is dressed similarly, if you even make it until then.

Pace

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Seriously, pace yourself. If you think about it, when you go out at night, it isn’t until 10 or 11 p.m., and, on average, you probably stay out until about 2 or 3 a.m. Do the math, and you can estimate that you’re out for around 5 hours, depending on how fun the parties are, of course. Now, think about that in relation to day drinking. If you start at 10 a.m., you’ll be ready to crash at like 3 in the afternoon. I like to funnel an entire cup of jungle juice from time to time too, but you’re going to be KOed for the rest of day and probably miss out on something really important, like the third time they play Timber.

Reaching Your Limit

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If you decide to go HAM the second you get there and then decide an hour later that it’s naptime, please, for the love of God, try to make it back to your apartment/dorm/cardboard box. It’s different to pass out at someone’s place for the night, but when you pass out on the couch in the middle of the party in the middle of the day, you’re going to be everyone’s least favorite person. On top of taking up sitting and making-out space, your friends will be forced to puppy guard you to make sure no one messes with your unconscious body.

Who You’re With

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On the flip side of the previous argument, try to avoid bringing those friends who find joy in bitching about every little thing. Or maybe they try a different approach; they get belligerently drunk and turn a broken nail into a nationwide crisis. They’ll probably call the guy they stopped hooking up with a couple weeks ago because they caught the feels and start to cry while they’re at it. Who knows, a fight could even break out. Regardless, you don’t want to be babysitting during a Daylong because that’s negative fun for everyone. Plan ahead and don’t bring them, or, if you’re ballsy enough, just walk away from them. They’ll probably be fine.

Have a safe and happy daylong season, everyone!

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