In an attempt to curtail stress and make finals week more enjoyable, Penn State hands out free coffee and massages. These are cool and all, but our idea of stress relief is slightly different.
Watch Jordan Dickerson’s monster block and D.J. Newbill’s baseline reverse from yesterday’s win.
It’s Monday, which sadly means that the dreaded end-of-semester Finals Week is finally upon us. You’re pulling all-nighters, downing Adderall — legally prescribed of course — like TicTacs, and keeping Nittany Notes in business. But most of all, you’re terribly miserable. That’s why we’ve put together a list of prop bets for our classmates as a way to spice up this week of Hell.
Christmas is almost here, and with it comes the overwhelming pressure to get your parents a Penn State-themed gift. Here are the weirdest gifts you can get your parents downtown.
It’s your first time back home since college started. Are you ready for the interrogation you’ll receive from your family on Thanksgiving? If not, we have a primer for you.
Among the transgressions displayed by the NCAA in its latest batch of emails was a knee-slapper: Mark Emmert found in December 2012 that his Wikipedia page “grossly” missed the mark in his Penn State decision, and he had his staff dedicate time to rectifying that. Oh, Mark, you poor thing!
It’s fair to say that no two bars in State College are alike. In fact, they can each be described in one single phrase, as we did.
If you’re like me, you have absolutely no game. I’m talking a complete inability to say anything clever, funny, or sexy to anyone, regardless of sobriety level. Realizing my shortcomings, the Onward State staff decided to help out and compile a list of Penn State-themed pickup lines. We’ll provide a list here for your viewing pleasure, and hope you utilize them to the best of your abilities.
Through the years, we have seen so many different schedules. We’ve learned that each schedule requires a certain level of preparation and effort (along with a certain level of stress and panic). With that in mind, we bring you the best and worst finals schedules of Fall 2014.
The New York Times did a great user-generated feature this spring collecting haikus to describe what New York City meant to its diverse communities. Like New York, I believe our community in the Nittany Valley elicits profound emotions that could be conveyed beautifully through haiku.
Welcome freshmen! I see you’ve survived your first month here as a Penn State student. By now you’ve undoubtedly Instagrammed a photo of Old Main, argued or watched someone argue with the Willard Preacher, eaten a West cookie and told 13 different people the same uninteresting story about just how drunk you were last weekend and how much you can’t even (Don’t worry, we’ve noticed your progress). Staples of your first month in Happy Valley, no doubt.
The Willard Preacher has been outside of Willard doing his thing for years. The content is always controversial but frankly, it’s getting kind of stale. So, we came up with a game to keep things interesting. Next time you’re sitting outside Willard, pull out this bingo board and see how many you can get.
Inside Waring Commons’ West Food District lies a dessert straight out of Penn State lore, up there with Berkey Creamery ice cream and Grilled Stickies: West Cookies. When you say the phrase, everyone knows what you mean. Everyone knows what to picture: warm, gooey, fresh-baked rounds placed underneath sliding glass, gently laid on a bed of wax paper atop the baking sheet. What could anyone possibly have against them?