All we wanted was to have a little fun. We wanted to reinvigorate a historic, okay, a six-year-old rivalry. We wanted a healthy competitive event for Onward State writers and Daily Collegian writers to cathartically find some middle ground. We just wanted to have a simple crate race against the student media competition.
Welcome back to America’s least-insightful advice column/Q&A service: Ask Noel! Here, we suspend disbelief and believe these people genuinely have these problems and try to solve them. We also take your stupid what-ifs and general questions. Let’s get to it with a full mailbag this week.
Sophomore cornerback Bryant Harper took to Twitter to brag about how he earned a B on his first anatomy exam without studying, only for James Franklin to put the young player on blast.
Hypothetically speaking, would you swipe left or right on these prominent Penn Staters if you came across them while getting your Tinder game on?
Penn State’s timeless Alma Mater is one of the most significant aspects of student and alumni life. As a whole, the song is a beautiful construct, but what specifically makes it so special? Here is our power ranking of the lines of the Alma Mater, from worst to best.
On a recruiting letter, Wisconsin mixed up Head Coach Paul Chryst’s experience at Pitt with Penn State. Accidental mix-up, or an attempt to get more recruits? (Probably the first one.)
Last week, we asked you for your best terrible roommate stories, and we were not disappointed. So let us all join together and pity these unlucky Penn Staters, while we reflect on our own experiences and remind ourselves that it could have been worse… a lot worse.
Though it’s a small town, State College seems to have one of everyone’s favorite national chain restaurant. But if you’re feeling something different, don’t worry! State College is filled with local gems that no one seems to talk about.
In an attempt to curtail stress and make finals week more enjoyable, Penn State hands out free coffee and massages. These are cool and all, but our idea of stress relief is slightly different.
Watch Jordan Dickerson’s monster block and D.J. Newbill’s baseline reverse from yesterday’s win.
It’s Monday, which sadly means that the dreaded end-of-semester Finals Week is finally upon us. You’re pulling all-nighters, downing Adderall — legally prescribed of course — like TicTacs, and keeping Nittany Notes in business. But most of all, you’re terribly miserable. That’s why we’ve put together a list of prop bets for our classmates as a way to spice up this week of Hell.
Christmas is almost here, and with it comes the overwhelming pressure to get your parents a Penn State-themed gift. Here are the weirdest gifts you can get your parents downtown.
It’s your first time back home since college started. Are you ready for the interrogation you’ll receive from your family on Thanksgiving? If not, we have a primer for you.
Among the transgressions displayed by the NCAA in its latest batch of emails was a knee-slapper: Mark Emmert found in December 2012 that his Wikipedia page “grossly” missed the mark in his Penn State decision, and he had his staff dedicate time to rectifying that. Oh, Mark, you poor thing!
It’s fair to say that no two bars in State College are alike. In fact, they can each be described in one single phrase, as we did.
If you’re like me, you have absolutely no game. I’m talking a complete inability to say anything clever, funny, or sexy to anyone, regardless of sobriety level. Realizing my shortcomings, the Onward State staff decided to help out and compile a list of Penn State-themed pickup lines. We’ll provide a list here for your viewing pleasure, and hope you utilize them to the best of your abilities.