A Very Serious Interview About Comedy

This weekend, experienced and fresh faced improvisers alike will test their mettle against one another in a “no-holds-barred,” “fight to the finish,” “other boxing terms” in the 2nd annual Full Ammo Student-Alumni Cagematch. Current Full Ammo members and their graduate counterparts perform for your votes FOR FREE in 105 Forum this Saturday at 8 p.m. Only one team will be crowned victorious. (Last year it was the alumni. Just so you know.)

I had the chance to speak with former Full Ammo president, recent graduate and captain of last year’s defeated student team Dan Miller to discuss his transition from student to alumnus.

SIMMONS: How does it feel to now be an alumni rather than student? Do you feel smarter?

MILLER: I certainly feel like I have more degrees, which is worth something, right? …it is worth something?

S: Last year you were a student and lost. Now you’re joining the team of alumni that defeated you brutally. Many will say you’re a turncoat. How do you respond?

M: Ryan, I don’t know if you read a little piece of classic American literature called the Hunger Games, but if you haven’t please don’t read any more of this response as it won’t make any sense to you. I consider myself a Peeta of sorts, while you (The Alumni Troupe) were up in a tree hiding from the Career Tributes (Students) I was running around with the them, pretending that I was trying to kill you. You see, it’s all been a part of my colorful charade to ensure the Alumni Troupe always wins. To continue this analogy, I’m also Caesar Flickerman because I have a tremendous stage presence and Dennis McNamara is Rue. We all know what happens to Rue.

S: What advice do you have for the current students?

M: Never cross me.

S: That crushing defeat of last year, what did it teach you? Did you see how handily the alumni destroyed you as a clear sign that you were playing for the wrong side?

M: Now ya see, Katniss THOUGHT that Peeta was on the wrong side BUT in actuality he was proving his love for her by being able to sacrifice himself to save her life. Remember that scene where he threw the bread to her in the rain? I WOULD TOTALLY THROW YOU GUYS BREAD IN THE RAIN!

S: What is it that makes alumni funnier than their undergraduate counterparts? Is it age and wisdom, continued practice, growth of self or simply a combination of all of this?

M: Katniss had experience, that’s how she won the Hunger Games, experience hunting, trapping, and surviving in the woods. She was a long shot (despite (or maybe because of) that 11 the Gamemakers ranked her) but she pulled through in the end because of her EXPERIENCE.

S: This year’s captain is current president Dennis McNamara, whose desperation to join an elite and exclusive group evidenced itself even in this very publication. What do you think of his skills, and does his team have any shot of redemption?

M: Now, it was Rue’s love for Katniss (me in this analogy) that drove her to try to set those fires to draw the career tributes away from the Cornucopia but at the end of the day Rue still died a horrible death. Also, when you read the Hunger Games you imagine Rue in your head as a white person but in the movie you see she’s actually black.

S: Dustin Lee Yenser is a wild-card in these matches. Having returned to the group after already graduating, he qualifies to perform with both teams. How do you think this schizophrenic approach will affect Yenser’s already fragile mind?

M: Dustin is like the wild pack of dogs that come out at the end of the Hunger Games to try to kill the surviving tributes, he has a little bit of every person he’s ever performed with (the other tributes) in him and he picks the meat from the skull of Cato while the other Tributes are forced to listen until Katniss (the Alumni) mercifully kill him.

You can enjoy spoilers just like these and more this weekend at 8pm in 105 Forum! BYOB