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Staff Picks: Our Worst Campus Pet Peeves

You’re lying if there isn’t that one thing that you see people do and that just frustrates you to no end. It can happen in class, in the dining hall, or while walking between the two. Wherever it happens, it sure as hell pisses you off. Call us petty, but we can no longer stand idly by as all of these small, terrible acts go unpunished.

Here are all of the of reprehensible things that other Penn State students — surely, not us ever — do that bother to us no end and warrant this public shaming.

Alysa Rubin: Not Holding The Door

I get that if your hands are full or you’re in a rush and you may not be able to hold the door, but if I’m clearly behind you, I’d appreciate it if you’d at least think to take two seconds to hold the door and not let it slam in my face. Not to mention, it’s a basic principle of courtesy and manners to hold the door for someone. If you don’t agree, just wait ’til the door gets slammed in your face. Then come talk to me.

Amanda Thieu: Packing Up Before Class Ends

The people who pack up 10 minutes before class ends are extremely disrespectful in my opinion. I understand you’re in a rush, but it’s so sad when the class is being taught by a nice professor and he/she is being bullied into ending early. Some students are passionate about the class and want to listen to the full lecture, yet you’re disrupting it with your zippers and notebooks. I’m sure you’re capable of waiting. If not, get expelled, fool.

Colleen Nersten: Being Inept At Starbucks

The Starbucks line can take upward of 15 minutes to get through, leaving them ample time to daydream about Bubba Clifford. Many students in line, myself included, are in such a time crunch to get to their next class that every second matters. Most of all, there is nothing worse than making a barista awkwardly yell, “I can take whoever’s next.” Bonus points for the student who needs the person behind them to tap them on the shoulder. Life would be so much better if these people were expelled.

Frankie Marzano: Hogging Benches At The Gym

Students should be expelled for putting their water bottle and towel on a bench in the White Building — or any gym, for that matter — when they never use the bench. I think there have been 10 times in the course of the last few weeks when I was looking for an open workout bench in the White Building, and someone had their stuff on it while they were lifting for an hour and not even using it. Not cool! (Editor’s note: We get it, Frankie. You lift.)

Gabe Angieri: Taking Too Much Chicken Parm, Dammit

How could you have the audacity to be a complete pig and take your fifth piece when there are countless people behind you just hoping to get a piece or two?! It’s not often that chicken parm is served in the dining hall, but when it is, I would like to enjoy some right away instead of needing to wait for them make more because some clown took five pieces. I don’t understand. If you want more, come up for seconds after the people behind you have taken enough. The most pieces I’ve taken at a time is three, and I would even consider myself a pig for that.

Lily Whitmoyer: Taking The End Seat In A Lecture Hall

I really wish students could be expelled for sitting at the end of an empty row, so I have to climb over them. I don’t want to squeeze my thighs between your desk and the seat in front of you. You don’t want me to step on your toes or your backpacks. It’s not hard. Find an empty row, walk to the middle, sit down, and you never have to worry about giving me a dirty look as I climb over you.

Mira DiBattiste: Monopolizing The Entire Sidewalk

I don’t think there’s anything that infuriates me more than when people and four of their friends insist on walking SIDE BY SIDE down the sidewalk. I’m minding my business trying to get to class and all of a sudden I see the Great Wall of freshmen in front of me. My options are to jump out into the road (unsafe!) or try to find the opportunity to squeeze between two of them and break through (I feel rude!). There’s always this awkward, angry shuffle of determining whether or not I can move past you, because we all know these five people aren’t moving anywhere at a reasonable pace.

Now look, I get it. It’s a lot easier to talk to your friends when they’re all side-by-side. But please break your group up however you see fit. Two-by-three, three-by-two — even a four-by-one clump would be better than taking up the entire sidewalk for yourselves. If the Lion Scouts can take a group of 20+ people around campus and not take up the entire sidewalk, you can too. I believe in you.

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Staff

Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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