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Why Texas Should Join The Big Ten

We’ve already expressed our excitement at the possibility of the University of Texas being the twelfth member of the already-misnomered Big Ten. The allure of playing the most valuable team in College football was enough to convince many that this was a good idea, but not everyone is on board.

Thankfully, the internet has provided – a writer simply calling himself “Frank The Tank” has penned an exhaustive argument for the move, a “Template for Shooting Down Any Argument Against Texas Going to The Big Ten.” We’re still waiting on Ron Burgundy’s analysis on how to get Nittany Lion Basketball to the NCAA tournament.

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About the Author

Mark

Mark McColey is a Senior majoring in Advertising and Labor-Employment relations. Among his loves are Penn State Football, The Steelers, The Penguins, The Simpsons, Tina Fey, and Arrested Development.

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Gorman Abruptly Resigns

Head coach of the men’s soccer program Barry Gorman unexpectedly announced his resignation Monday. He leaves a legacy of 22 years of coaching and three Big Ten titles in his wake. Citing “personal reasons,” he has left the team to a nation-wide search for his successor.

“We expected Gorman to be there,” [rising Senior and Co-Captain Andres] Casais said of next season. “He was a father figure to us.”



Oof, that can’t feel good. The move isn’t completely out of the blue, as Gorman was periodically absent during the past few weeks without notice. But from all accounts, his intention to resign was only revealed yesterday. On the abandonment scale, this registers just slightly above “going to the store for some cigarettes and never coming back.”

EVERYBODY PANIC: Battle Submits For NBA Draft

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