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Graduating Senior Lists Himself On eBay

graduateebayauctionIt would be far beyond redundant to say that the job market awaiting our graduating seniors is not promising. But as long as we’re beating a dead horse, it’s appropriate to mention that John Pereca, a soon-to-be-Penn State graduate, is auctioning himself off on eBay in the hope that it will help his employment prospects.

From Pereca’s product description:

I am basically your average 21 year old Italian male, with an above average, likable personality. I have attached a few pictures in an attempt to show that I am a normal, potentially down to earth guy, who can seamlessly fit into any company, organization or group.

On the bright side, this is a great example of the outside-the-box thinking a Penn State education can foster. But at the same time, his price is currently at .99 with zero bids.

At least he comes with free shipping!

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About the Author

Mark

Mark McColey is a Senior majoring in Advertising and Labor-Employment relations. Among his loves are Penn State Football, The Steelers, The Penguins, The Simpsons, Tina Fey, and Arrested Development.

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Gorman Abruptly Resigns

Head coach of the men’s soccer program Barry Gorman unexpectedly announced his resignation Monday. He leaves a legacy of 22 years of coaching and three Big Ten titles in his wake. Citing “personal reasons,” he has left the team to a nation-wide search for his successor.

“We expected Gorman to be there,” [rising Senior and Co-Captain Andres] Casais said of next season. “He was a father figure to us.”



Oof, that can’t feel good. The move isn’t completely out of the blue, as Gorman was periodically absent during the past few weeks without notice. But from all accounts, his intention to resign was only revealed yesterday. On the abandonment scale, this registers just slightly above “going to the store for some cigarettes and never coming back.”

EVERYBODY PANIC: Battle Submits For NBA Draft

Twisted Humor Comedy Tour to Visit Alumni Hall

Penn State Alum Charged For Campus Vandalism

In a statement sent to Onward State, Julia Cipparulo claimed to have vandalized several Penn State campus landmarks, including the Lion Shrine, on May 8.

Penn State Alum Charged For Campus Vandalism

In a statement sent to Onward State, Julia Cipparulo claimed to have vandalized several Penn State campus landmarks, including the Lion Shrine, on May 8.

Penn State Football Announces New Jersey Numbers For 2022 Season

Nittany Lions old and new have received new jersey numbers ahead of the 2022 season.

Penn State Athletes & Designs We Want To See On Trading Cards

We think Nittany Lions like Makenna Marisa and Parker Washington are more than deserving of their own trading cards.

 
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