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Distraction of the Day: Dear Blank Please Blank

“Disclaimer: We don’t write the submissions, you do. If you see us on the street, please don’t shoot, stab, or punch us. If you have any concerns regarding submissions, please read our terms and privacy policy.”

While studying in the “Harry Potter” room in the library, I notice several people around me on sites like Texts from Last Night, Total Frat Move, and FourLoko Stories. I then go to my browser and type, and click enter. I await the loading of this new website that I’ve been seeing blow up all over Facebook.

Endless entries of short, hilarious “letters” fill the pages as I scroll down. The site’s content ranges from Twilight, Justin Bieber, and other teenybopper things to the everyday annoying and awkward encounters that people have. The categories are “How Dare They,” “You’re a Douche,” “Hilarious,” “I Like This,” and “Umm, WTF?” This new procrastination website has scenarios that you  can definitely relate to your own lives.

Here are some “Hilarious” examples…

Dear person reading this,

You’re here because you’re actively procrastinating or avoiding real work, aren’t you? It’s OK…me too.

Sincerely, I’ll work tomorrow

I know Evan Kalikow will like this one…

Dear Nickelback,

That’s enough.

Sincerely, The World.

Dear Dora,

You’re bilingual at age 4, and you seriously can’t see the damn orange tree?

Sincerely, It’s right there.

And for those who read my life is average or fmylife…

Dear Person Who Linked me this Site,

Please never send me a link again. I have responsibilities and absolutely no willpower.

Sincerely, I just broke the addiction to MLIA, damnit.

If you’re really bored, there is a “moderator” section where you can vote on submitted entries, as well as submit your own. And for all those entries that you thought got lost in cyberspace, there is a section in the top right corner of “epic” failures that did not make the website’s cut.

This website was created by Jared Wunsch and Hans Johnson. Apparently Jared’s cat Louie is the one who reads the submissions, so they warn readers to send cans of tuna.

Remember, if you are a big procrastinator, proceed with caution and good luck on finals!

About the Author


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