It’s the Friday of Halloween weekend and many students have been agonizing over what to wear (or not to wear) as a costume for weeks. They checked Google multiple times and either put together a clever Goodwill ensemble or drained their bank account at Spirit of Halloween.

Since we’re college students, it’s only natural to expect many half-ass costumes this weekend. I don’t want to sacrifice too much of my precious drinking money on a Captain America outfit or some Ron Burgandy wig.

Now, I’m not writing this post because I support the pun costume. It’s a cheap way to get out of Halloween, but I understand the pressures we all encounter around this time. Classes are increasing in difficulty, everyone’s sick, and money is tight.

So if you waited until the last minute and want some ideas, here’s a list of pun costumes. Just be ready to explain them to all your drunken buddies and possibly receive some criticism because Nittany Lions don’t take holidays lightly.

Premature Ejaculation

This one is very easy. Just wear a pair of pants and when someone asks you what you are, respond with “I just came in my pants.”

Caution: It’s going to be cold this weekend. If you think the laugh is worth it, go for it. Also, I don’t think this qualifies as a pun, but it’s still a good one.

Quarterback/Quarter Pounder

Put a quarter on the back of your shirt and you’re a quarterback. Walk around with a quarter and a hammer and you’re a Quarter Pounder (maybe take some cheese with you, if you’re into that).

Caution: These are very easy. People may not appreciate your lack of effort though. Oh, and don’t pound the quarter on anything that can break.

Douchebag

Throw on a trash bag and hang a sign that reads “douche” around your neck.

Caution: It’s simple, but people may dig it later in the night. Doesn’t mean you have to act like one though.

Baby Mama

Go out as some weird hybrid of a baby and a mother. Think about your own mother’s wardrobe and add some baby aspects (binky, rattle, bottle, etc).

Caution: May cost you a few more dollars, but funny nonetheless. Perhaps you should leave the diapers at home.

Deviled Egg

Wear a white shirt with a yellow circle in the middle. Buy some devil horns and maybe a trident.

Caution: The white shirt might not do it, but it will save you some money.

Lawsuit

Print out some actual laws and attach them to a suit with safety pins.

Caution: The papers may get ripped off at parties. Bring some extra laws just in case.

These may not be the coolest or sexiest costumes, but they are better than nothing. Don’t underestimate your imagination though. You still have a few hours to come up with the best mediocre costume in State College.

Any clever pun costume ideas out there? Help your fellow students out and leave some comments below.