Though the rest of the state of Pennsylvania chose Mitt Romney, the results of yesterday’s primary election show that Penn State and State College voters don’t have enough faith in the Republican front-runner to beat Barack Obama in November. This college town is still occupied by the Obama zombies that have failed to die out after the craze of 2008 fizzled into the reality we face today of stagnant job growth, a congress rife with conflict, and an ever increasing deficit.

Obama–who is a favorite among the largely liberal population that sprouts up around college campuses–took a total of 1,149 votes in the State College precincts 16-34. Despite the fact that the primary is painted by the media to be a republican election and Pennsylvania’s closed primary rules that restrict ballots to only registered republicans or democrats, Obama took more votes than the entire Republican pool of candidates combined.

His victory is largely symbolic because Obama was the only candidate on the ballot for Democrats and his re-election for the party is already a done deal, but his support in Penn State is a sharp contrast to the rest of Centre County where republican presidential candidates swallowed up roughly 65% of the votes. In State College precincts, Obama flipped the statistic capturing roughly 58% of the vote.

Mitt Romney came in first in State College districts with 451 votes. The former Massachusets govenor has been the shining star of the election since primary season began, but his endorsement of the Paul Ryan budget would assumably be toxic to the voters in a college town. Though Romney pledges his support for students–even going as far as agreeing with Obama’s high education initiatives–his butt-buddy Paul Ryan and his budget proposal would double interest rates on student loans and further add to the debt crisis of college-aged voters.

Ultimately the victory went to Romney in the State College Republican presidential race, but his poor showing proves that the presumable GOP ticket in November needs to work overtime to take a share of the youth vote from Obama.

Romney was trailed by State College precinct runner-up, Ron Paul. The Texas libertertian usually garners a cult following in college towns where ending wars and legalizing drugs are well recieved messages. However, he only pulled in 159 votes in State College districts.

Newt Gingrich was embarrisingly beat out by former Pennsylvania senator, Rick Santorum, who had droped out of the race two weeks ago. The former speaker of the house raked in 71 votes in State College precincts while the guy who got glitter bombed during his last visit to Penn State managed to brainwash 103 people into voting for him.

Another shocking win to come out of yesterday’s primary was the conservative king-pin of Penn State and dictator president of the on-campus chapter Young Americans for Fascism Freedom, Samuel Settle, who came in second place in Centre County’s Republican alternate delegate race. This pretty much means that if an official delegate is busy getting a vasectomy, Sam Settle will be representing the Republican party at the national convention. I guess it’s more bad ass than a seat on the State College school board.

Yet the problem of apathy lingers like garlic breath at Penn State. The precincts for most on-campus (and a handful of off-campus) students located in the HUB received only roughly 100 votes during the 13 hours of voting. The precinct for East Halls residents saw only 3 of the 1200 registered voters turn out for elections. A number of polling station employees at off-campus locations attested to a majority of voters being townies, not students, further exemplifying the disenfranchisement of our university.

Will this November’s presidential election be polarizing enough to get Happy Valley to give a shit? Is it even worth it to give a shit?

In my opinion, it’s better to choose between a giant douche and a turd sandwich than not having your voice heard at all.