Did you wake up this morning and feel divinely inspired with an unusually impassioned desire to express political dissent to an obliged audience?

Have you been looking for the most ironic venue to practice your newest ad-lib, avant-garde theatrical performance of a dissatisfied squirrel on campus via metered soliloquy?

Do you enjoy sitting down for an hour and a half daily between 4:30 and 6:00 p.m?

If you said yes or no to any of these questions, then you should keep reading to learn more about the Student Town Hall Forum, because it’s totally going down later today in the HUB Auditorium.

Not only that, I seriously doubt you could possibly ask for a better terrible excuse to procrastinate homework that you’ve deprioritized.

What is a Student Town Hall Forum, you ask?

Besides being a KGB trigger-phrase for sleeper agents (Здравствуйте, товарищ), it’s an event hosted by the holy trinity UPUA, CCSG, and GSA.

Now even though that totally seems like a cock-block, there are going to be really important people at this Student Town Hall Forum you can actually talk to — like President Rodney Erickson, AD David Joyner, and an alumni elected Board of Trustees member Marianne Alexander.

Basically what I’m saying is, here is your chance to go out and express your thoughts to Rodney Erickson, David Joyner, Marianne Alexander in a student-oriented discussion.

I mean, if you knowingly turn down an event like this and ever bitch about Erickson on Facebook again…Well, I can only hope you’re removed from this earth and jettisoned directly into the dark ages by the arbitrary whims of a maniacal time-traveling space wizard. Go out there and do your responsibility as a member of the community. Be pissed, be polite, and be present.

And, if you’re anything like me, this could easily turn into an unscripted event akin to a Pawnee Town Hall meeting from Parks and Recreation. How could you even pretend like you’d not be mad for missing out on that sort of potential hilarity? I’m honestly too emotionally weak to be completely disappointed, so when you’re there at that meeting later today, know that deep down you’re simultaneously saving my life.

Be a bro and go — #forChadwick.

WHERE: HUB Auditorium
WHEN: Today, September 19th, from 4:00-6:30 p.m
WHO: You. Yes you.

Chadwick Lynch is brain-stormer and Content Contributor for Onward State. He is also scientifically harmless. Follow him at @ChadwickLynch.