Top 10 Fall Drinks to Die For
We’re already halfway through a very brisk autumn here in Happy Valley. The trees on campus have taken some gorgeous golden, orange, and red hues, and the ground is covered in tempting piles of leaves, just begging to be jumped into.
‘Tis the season for hayrides, Halloween parties, and Thanksgiving feasts.
Hot Cinnamon Toast
Pour yourself a mug of hot apple cider. Add a shot of Captain Morgan. Finish with a tablespoon of cinnamon and a tablespoon of sugar. It literally tastes like cinnamon french toast. Thank me later.
This one is two parts vanilla vodka, one part pumpkin schnapps. Add a splash of cream and a pinch of nutmeg. Mix all of it in a cocktail shaker with ice, then strain into a martini glass, and voilà! You have a slice of pumpkin pie in a glass. Except alcoholic. Which is even better.
Caramel Apple Martini
For this little number, you’ll need an even amount of green apple vodka and butterscotch schnapps. Once again, mix all of it in a cocktail shaker with ice, then strain into a martini glass. This time you’ve got an alcoholic version of one of your favorite fall treats from childhood (except now you aren’t 12 with a full mouth of braces for that caramel apple to get stuck in).
24 Karat Nightmare
This one’s just a shooter, comprised of half Jagermeister and half Goldschlager. Pour them for your friends while you pregame for one of the many costume parties you’ll attend Halloweekend; it leaves you feeling warm and happy, like a little blanket of inebriation. Perfect if your costume errs on the side of scandalous. Which it probably does.
Don’t even lie, you’re only reading this description because the name made you giggle. Whatever. Anyway, this one’s another shooter. One part butterscotch schnapps, two parts Jagermeister. If you try it, love it, get obsessed with it, and it becomes your “usual” drink… well, don’t blame me when your friends start calling you Buttmeister.
Gold and Spicy
If you’re looking for a way not to remember anything about the hayride you’re about to go on, pregame it with a few shots of this deadly concoction: 50% tequila, 50% Goldschlager, 100% dangerous. Like a (very) grown-up version of those cinnamon Red Hot candies you sucked on as a kid. Drink with caution.
You have to understand that by drinking this, you’re putting yourself at risk of becoming the protagonist in a scary campfire story: The Tale of the College Student Who Burnt Their Face Off. But ’tis the season, right? So you’re gonna pour 1/3 oz Bailey’s Irish Cream, then 1/3 oz Kahlua, then 1/3 oz of Goldschlager, in that order. Stir it lightly. Then light the thing on fire. (Note: Pretty sure you blow it out before you drink it, but you know, it’s your call. Go with what feels right!).
Apple Pie a la Mode
Maybe you’re not a big pumpkin fan, and apple pie’s always called your name after your family’s Thanksgiving feast. Well, you’re in luck. Just pour some chilled apple cider into a glass over ice, add a shot of vanilla vodka and a pinch of cinnamon, and you’ve got a liquid version of your preferred dessert. Bon appétit!
Pretty much the Irish Car Bomb’s much tastier, autumn-themed cousin. Start with a pint glass. Fill it halfway with the pumpkin beer of your choice. Fill a shot glass 3/4 of the way with Pinnacle Whipped, then fill the remaining 1/4 with Goldschlager. Drop the shot glass into the pint glass, then chug the beer and the shot simultaneously. Tastes just like freaking pumpkin pie. (Sidebar: my roommate skipped all of that preparation crap and ordered one of these babies at the Phyrst, so that’s always an option, too).
I saved (what I think is) the best for last! When prepared correctly, this deliciously creepy drink actually looks like a brain hemorrhage. Fill a champagne glass 3/4 of the way with peach schnapps. Then use a straw to ‘drip’ some Bailey’s Irish Cream on top, where it will curdle and float to look like brains. Lightly pour a splash of grenadine through the Bailey’s to get the perfectly bloody aspect that makes this the perfect Halloween cocktail.
PS: If you’re really more of a beer person than a mixed drinks and shooters person, get at least a little festive with something pumpkin flavored! Try Shipyard Pumpkinhead, Sam Adams Pumpkin Ale, or Smuttynose Pumpkin Ale to get into the fall spirit.
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About the Author
Do you yearn for cigarette ash-dusted grilled cheeses from “quintessential shithole” Grillers? Or a night out at G-Man with your old frat bros? Or have evenings of drinking felt incomplete ever since Canyon moved across Beaver and got rid of its sticky blue picnic tables?
It’s hard not to draw parallels between this year’s lacrosse team and a couple other Nittany Lion teams that have used the City of Brotherly Love as a launching pad to sustained success.
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