Last night the Maybach Music Group made their way to State College to talk about their bitches that look like bags of money. Fortunately I was one of the people in the audience. Here a general round of highlights that happened in sequencial order:

• First of all, my friends and I got there about an hour late and some guy was DJing playing “Bands A Make Her Dance.” We thought for sure that Wale would at least be playing by this point.  I don’t know who he was or why he was important but he was there and yelling a lot. When we walked in he screamed at the crowd ” LADIES SHOUT IF YOUR PUSSY CAN SCREAM!!!!!”
• We also walked to our section to sit in the “best nosebleeds” but it was blocked off and because so many people didn’t show up we got $70 seats right by the floor, when we had only paid $20.
• Then “Lace Up” came out on stage? They played for too long. They kept yelling about how they came from nothing and were wearing bright orange prison jump suits. They also crowd surfed and a lot of air horns were blaring. They also told the crowd to put their middle finger in the air and yell “FUCK THE WORLD.” They also said “If you love to smoke weed put your mutha fucken hands in the air!!” The one white guy’s tattoos looked like the Fruit Stripe zebra chewing gum tattoos.
• After they left, a ridiculous, haunting MMG video played. People were screaming.
• Wale came out and rapped while a montage of silhouettes of naked dancing girls played behind him.
• Wale left and Rick Ross entered. He was wearing a Penn State football jersey that said “ROSS” on the back and the number 12. The front said “PENN STATE”. It was ridiculous. By the end of the show it was a different shade of navy.
• “You know why I fuck with Penn State? You all future mutha fucken bosses you hear me? Not only that but all the sexy ladies know how to pop that.” – Rick Ross
• Flames kept playing on the screens behind him and whenever there was half a second of silence “M-M-M-M-M-M-M-MAYBACH MUSIC” would play. That british chick who says that was not there unfortunately.
• Meek Mill came out eventually, to “Flexin'” He then asked whoever had more than $30 in their pocket to put their hands up? My hands weren’t up.
• “EVERYDAY IM HUSTLIN’, MUTHA FUCKEN HUSTLIN'”- Rick Ross.
• Also, like, Rick Ross is just as huge and scary in person as you’d expect.
• Money graphics appeared a lot on the back screens.
• A girl fight went down towards the back of the floor.
• Then, at the end, The Game came out? And he rapped that song about his mom kissing a girl that we all danced to at middle school dances. It was weird but a fun surprise.

Basically, if you were one of those people that gave up your ticket for me, I thank you. It was awesome.