Everyone knows how convenient LionCash is — we use it for food, laundry, and the occasional bus ride. But what if I told you that your LionCash was actually a key to a dream world full of wonder and magic?

In this world, you are treated like royalty, chauffeured around town at your leisure, and invited to dine at only the most exclusive of restaurants.

Well, this world exists, as long as you keep your LionCash account settings to “private” (automatic) and lie to your parents about spending it solely on food and other necessities. Read on to discover some of the truly weird places that accept your LionCash, so you too can start swiping yourself into luxury.

EsSpa at the Carnegie Inn: The fact that this place takes LionCash came as a total shock to me (a townie) whose limited exposure of extravagance pretty much considers the Carnegie Inn the pinnacle of high society. Not only is the Carnegie Inn the swankiest place to spend a night, they also have one of the nicest spas in town. Facials, massages, mani-pedis, they’ve got it all. Nothing says “luxury” like a fluffy bathrobe and a heated steam shower.

Blaise Alexander/Walks Service Center: If you’re one of the lucky few who can afford to keep their car on campus, Blaise and Walks auto repair shops take LionCash for all your automotive needs. So the next time your friend spills beer in your precious “baby,” just relax and know that you’re covered.

Goodwill: Just in case the song “Thriftshop” hasn’t already convinced you that thrifting is the shit, you can now buy your 99 cent pimp coats with your ID card. Or you could just take your grandpa’s hand-me-downs.

Jezebel’s Boutique: If you need some fancy new drawers for a “special night,” you no longer need to leave downtown. As long as you can stomach the fact that your parents are basically footing the bill for your sexytime, this is pretty much a no-brainer. Also, they’ll go great with your brand new thrift shop purchases.

George’s Floral Boutique/Woodring’s Floral Gardens: However, before you let anyone see you in your brand spankin’ new underwear, make sure they at least get you flowers first. Now that you know they can use their LionCash, there’s really no room for excuses.

Central PA Mixed Martial Arts: If you’ve ever looked at the extensively long list of classes and activities offered at our own Penn State facilities and yearned for something cooler (something that would boost your street cred a little more than taking a Zumba class with your BFF), you should check this out.

Happy Valley Taxi: For those of you who aren’t lucky enough to have cars on campus, you’re welcome.

The Atherton Hotel: If for some reason the Imperial Motel isn’t classy enough for you, just book a room right across the street in one of the nicest hotels in State College. Hello? Room service!

Tarragon at the Atherton Hotel: Not only is your night’s stay payable by LionCash, your extravagant dinner beforehand is covered as well.

The Bronze Tanning Co./Simply Tan/Ultimate Tans/California Tanning Express: Pretty much any tanning place in State College accepts LionCash now. Although, personally, I think it’s a rip off to pay for tanning when you could get your own cancerous UV rays from good old mother nature for free. (Unless you’re spray tanning because then, for the love of God, just leave it to the professionals).

Kranich’s Jewlers: If you have a special someone that you’d like to pop the question to (or even someone you want to see in their sexy LionCash lingerie) GUESS WHAT?! Kranich’s accepts LionCash… and probably suitcases of money too, since that’s just as shady.

To sum up, the next time you consider using your LionCash to pay for take out, eat some Ramen and get a massage instead.