Everyone knows the career fair is full of free stuff, but did you know the involvement fair is a great place to pick some some swag, too?

I decided to venture on over to the involvement fair on Tuesday in the HUB to do some investigative journalism on the one thing everyone cares about the most: free stuff. Now first off, I know this sounds like a lot of fun, but having to walk around in a cramped, way-too-hot room for several hours isn’t exactly the paradise that I had originally imagined. Sure, getting involved in one of Penn State’s hundreds of clubs is great, but do you know what’s better? Free. Stuff.

Here’s the best of the best from Involvement Fair Fall 2013:

Penn State Snowboarding Club: Energy Drinks

This made the list for several reasons. First, the place is like a sauna, so anyone offering anything to quench my thirst was bound to win. Second, after waking up at 7 a.m. to go see an advisor, I really needed a pick-me-up. And just look at that smiling face handing out that drink. Props. Oh, and they also had silly bandz! (Are those still a thing?)

Pregnancy Resource Clinic: Chapstick

Even though I was informed via Twitter that this Chapstick apparently doesn’t prevent pregnancy, the branding is just too much to pass up. I mean, who doesn’t want to walk around with Chapstick that says Pregnancy Resource Center? Not this girl, I’ll tell you that much.

NWTF Penn State Spur Collectors: A Bunch of Stuff, But Mostly Koozies

The spur collectors not only made the list because of the great selection of free stuff, but also because I had to earn my koozie with a trivia question. Did you know that there are two turkey seasons in Pennsylvania? This system builds character. They also had a flashlight made out of a shotgun shell, some pins, and koozies for bottles AND cans.

National Society of Collegiate Scholars: Sunglasses, Koozies, Post-Its, Lanyards, Cups, and More

The “best variety of free things” award almost certainly goes to NSCS. What really made this stuff stand out though is that most of it had “talk nerdy to me” or “geek is chic” printed on it, which any blogger can appreciate.

Penn State Russian Student Society: Noisemakers

Noisemakers given out by a person in a banana suit. What’s not to love?

Kazakhstani Student Association: Kazakhstani Candy

Definitely maximum points in the non-existent category of “most culturally diverse” freebie. They also win for most delicious. If you ever get the chance to try candy from Kazakhistan, do it! Unless is from a creepy guy in a van, then run away. But the Kazakhistani Student Association, those guys are okay.

Honorable mentions:

Phi Mu Alpha music fraternity: CDs

Even though the kid seemed really taken aback when I asked if they were giving away the CDs, he told me I could have one. Then I told him I was just doing some investigative journalism and didn’t actually want it. In a nice way though. (I think.)

Atlas: Funny Flyer

“Don’t be Manti Te’o, meet real friends in Atlas.”

Greek Life: Tanks, Sunglasses, Post-Its, and Lanyards

I guess the first test to see if you are a good fit for greek life is to see if you get excited about tanks and sunglasses.

Full Ammo Improv: Michael

Though they had no freebies, Michael did impart some wisdom on me, and it was as follows: “A mouse fears a man, a man fears a tiger, a tiger fears an elephant, and elephant fears a mouse.” I guess that’s some Lion King Circle of Life kinda stuff. Free wisdom, take it or leave it.

UPUA Sunglasses

You paid for them, might as well use them.

Special thanks to all of the clubs and orgs that dealt with me awkwardly taking pictures, and (sometimes) taking their freebies!