It is a longstanding tradition for the senior class at Penn State to select and fund a gift to give to the university, dating all the way back to 1861. Many classes decide to donate to an endowment or scholarship fund, but more tangible examples like the Lion Shrine (1940), the Old Main sundial (1966), and the HUB Aquariums (1999) exist as pillars for the generations of students that helped pay for them.

The best part about the process is that students are able to nominate and vote on the proposals. Last year, a “We Are” statue beat out Rec Hall beautification and a donation to the Penn State Hershey Center for the Protection of Children Center.

Nominations for ideas are currently being accepted for the 2014 Senior Class Gift until September 18 by filling out this form. We put together a list of completely serious and realistic ideas for the next class gift and we are confident that one of these will be selected (But in all seriousness, the more ideas the better. Make sure to fill out the form if you have a proposal.)

Without further adieu, here are Onward State’s senior class gift proposals:

• A chairlift up Shortlidge Road

Practical. Useful. Fun. Shortlidge can be a real bear to conquer, especially during the infamous State College winter months. What a better way to honor the Class of 2014 than a symbol of our inherent laziness?

• Sidewalks and stairways replaced with escalators/moving walkways

This one goes hand-in-hand with the chairlift, but would make Penn State the No. 1 college choice for, well, everyone. You would never have to worry about texting and walking because you wouldn’t need to walk. You wouldn’t even have to worry about getting run over by the bro riding his scooter to class. It’s like a 2014 version of Wall-E and it would be awesome.

• A “Pissed Off” banner next to the Class of 2013’s We Are statue

It’s no secret that it has been a rough few years for Penn State’s image, and what a better way to show everyone that we don’t agree with the Board of Trustees and administration than a giant sign? It’s a real alumni pleaser and we could even sell T-shirts with the phrase!

• A new Joe Paterno statue

“Put it up or we will!”

•  iPads for every senior

Is John Zang still a student?

• Funding for the Graham Spanier School of Magic

What a better way to honor President Spanier’s legacy at Penn State than an expansion of Penn State’s academic palette to include magic?

• $60,000,000, tickets to bowl games, 20 extra scholarships to use on football players, and 111 victories from 1998-2011

This would be the gift that keeps on giving. The Class of 2014 would definitely win the non-existent award for best class gift ever. Or at least a close second to the Lion Shrine.