The Best Places to Get Your Fracket
Good news, Greek Life: Fall is officially upon us.
Cooler weather in State College brings a few important things: football season, canning, and the slightly less popular fracket season.
While we do praise Mother Nature for holding off on the single-digit temperatures,we’re not as warm as we were syllabus week. So, before all of you frat rats stumble off the White Loop, grab a fracket to keep yourselves warm.
It seems silly to spend a fortune on a fracket since it will get stolen and/or stained with Natty, so we’re providing you with a few of the most economical places to find your seasonal savior.
Goodwill: You don’t need to be an extreme thrifter to spot a fracket at Goodwill. It has a lot of decent second-hand stuff, so you’ll be able to get something fairly warm for fairly cheap. I can’t make any guarantees on it being cute, but you probably won’t find anyone else with the same one.
Plato’s Closet/The Attic: Both of these stores offer slightly used clothing for very, very cheap. Find something in your closet that you don’t wear anymore and sell it to them. If it’s worth enough to have an even exchange, that’s sort of like getting a free fracket. And if you’re the buyer, you’ll cackle all the way to Garner in your $2 puffy vest.
Walmart: If you’re somewhat phobic about wearing things that have been worn by other people, but still want to keep the price at a minimum, Walmart is your best bet. Next time you go there to pick up a few groceries, stop in the clothing section. You can easily find a zip-up for under $10. The boy’s section is a GOLD MINE.
Your Ex: When you guys parted ways before freshman year he let you have his favorite sweatshirt…cute. It’s now been over a year since your break-up and the hoodie is still in the back of your closet. Use it. Who gives a shit if someone else wears it to brunch on Sunday morning? BETTER. OFF.
Amazon: First of all, if you haven’t set up an Amazon account with your student ID to get free two-day shipping yet, you need to do that. Second, you can find things on that site for like 38 cents. Don’t be intimidated by the other bidders. They’re too nervous to go to eBay and so are you.
The Trash Room: All of you really frugal readers whose level of dignity is a bit below average will be happy to know that you can wear a trash bag as a jacket. If you still live in the dorms, the trash room has a bunch of free trash bags. If not, you can probably afford trash bags. Simply cutting a hole for your face and putting it over your shoulders works, or, if you are far too chic for that, there are always creative alternatives. Or, y’know, take a fracket from the closet in the frat. That’s why we buy frackets in the first place: for the occasion that jerks like you take our warmth.
A Frat: You’ll still be chilly on the walk over, but this ensures a cozy trip home. For the record, I have never actually stolen another person’s fracket, but it’s apparently a fairly common practice (refer to the previous bullet).
Your Closet at Home: Remember when Reading Olympics was really cool in seventh grade so you joined and made your parents buy you the sweatshirt? Good news for you and your parents: That sweatshirt has not been used to its full potential yet.
Any other frackets we forgot? Let us know! We’re just a bunch of geeds anyway.
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“I’ll have a scarlet kidney but a heart that beats blue and white.”
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