10 Friends Every Penn Stater Should Have
In addition to your ACTUAL friends (i.e., the people you hang out with simply because you actually enjoy their company), there are some people you ought to strike up a relationship with out of sheer convenience. They’re not Rachel, Chandler, or Joey, but trust me, they’re people that you want to have around. They’ll be there for youuuuuu when the rain starts to pour… well, probably not, but you’ll be glad to have them around anyway.
1. The one with the car.
This one’s a no brainer. How else will you get to Trader Joe’s or Target or wherever else you may need to be driven? Bonus points if the person with the car is also willing to DD, because no one wants to ride the White Loop home after midnight. If that doesn’t work out, at least make them drive you to The Waffle Shop to cure your hangover.
2. The one who is over 21.
C’mon, you don’t want to be that kid texting everyone in your phone to ask if they can pick up a handle of Vladdy for you. Have one person so that you’re not annoying the masses. A friends older cousin or friend from high school is a usual suspect. Be polite and offer them a few bucks for helping you out. Try not to wait until the night you’ll need it to ask — if you ask at the beginning of the week, you’ll be less of a hassle to them.
3. The one with a meal plan.
Don’t let the HUB steal all of your hard-earned money. PANDA ISN’T WORTH IT IF YOU’RE PAYING IN CASH. Find an underclassman with a Level 6 meal plan and accept every time they offer to pay for your orange chicken. And a word to underclassmen: Swipe upperclassmen into Pollock if you have meal points and they don’t, because one day they will have beer when you don’t.
4. The one whose family throws kickass tailgates.
Tailgates with your friends are always fun, but they tend to expect cash in return for lukewarm Natties and chewy burgers. Family tailgates are where it’s at. Ice cold drinks, deliciously prepared food, fun games with drunk alumni – and it’s all gloriously, gloriously free. Find the friend whose mom makes the best buffalo chicken dip and never let them go. Ever.
5. The one who takes great notes.
Seriously, find whoever this person is in your class and befriend them right away. You never want to be that kid emailing a 200 person lecture class to ask if anyone has today’s notes because you were out sick when everyone knows you were just hungover. As in, never ever do that. I guess you could pay for Nittany Notes, but why bother if you could just sit down for a study sesh with your BFF, the best note taker in town?
6. The one with the green.
No, I’m not suggesting that you find a friend with a lot of cash to blow. That’s just rude. I meant weed. Don’t look all shocked; I’m not suggesting you find a crack spirit guide or that you buy a Sublime poster and Instagram pictures of your new bong. All I’m saying is that IF you should choose to decide to smoke weed in college, you should find a friend who will be a steady and safe connection rather than asking any stoner-looking dude you pass on Calder if he can help you find some. Be smart about it.
7. The one who is in a fraternity or a sorority.
This one is especially prevalent to freshmen (well, freshmen boys) without plans from weekend to weekend. Make a friend in a sorority or fraternity who can get you into the parties and can negate that awkward part where you’re standing on the stoop of a frat house while the brothers decide whether you and your friends have the right “ratio” to be allowed into the party. Also, try hard to get to know the people whose party you’re attending so that you don’t have to flirt for a beer.
8. The one who is always studying.
You’ll be so much more likely to get your lazy butt off of the couch and over to the library if you have a friend who is constantly posted up in Pattee cramming for some exam/quiz/project/final. There’s much more motivation to be a conscientious student if you know you’ll have a study buddy to keep you company.
9. The one with a washer and dryer in his or her apartment.
I don’t mean a laundry room in the basement of their building. Find someone at a fancy place like The Grove or The Pointe, where the washer and dryer are included in their unit and don’t require a roll of quarters to operate. Then ask them if they want to hang out at their place tonight, and if they’d mind if you happened to bring along a few loads of laundry. (Hopefully they also fall under the first category and can help you drive your full-to-bursting hamper back-and-forth).
10. The one who takes a million pictures.
You know the type — their Facebook album for the 2013-2014 school year already has hundreds of photos in it, and we’re only a month in. Since most of us are not constantly whipping out our phones to photograph whatever we’re doing at any given moment, this person is nice to have around because they help you document formerly unseen moments of your college years. Plus you can’t take a photo of YOURSELF doing a keg stand.
Are there any other essential friends that we missed? Let us know in the comments.
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About the Author
James Franklin seems to be the most viable option to replace current USC head coach Clay Helton, according to college football reporters Bruce Feldman and Stewart Mandel.
The Nittany Lions moved up two spots following their 20-7 victory over Rutgers on Saturday afternoon.
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