10 Remedies to Fight an Inevitable Hangover

Assuming you went out last night, you may have hit the point where you had one too many to drink. Okay, you may have had eight too many. Maybe you had one too many of these. Regardless of how just how inebriated your Thursday night was, I’m sure you’re feeling quite uncomfortable reading this in your bed. Luckily for you, Onward State has the cure!

Here are our top 10 cures for that dreaded hangover:

1. Sleep

Ahhh, sleep. A college kid’s favorite activity. Popular belief suggests that sleep is the best medicine. When dealing with a serious hangover, sometimes accepting defeat and curling up in your bed is the ONLY way to combat it. After going to bed at four in the morning and waking up noon, you’re probably not feeling that great considering the massive headache you’re experiencing. It’s probably best you lie down and accept defeat.

2. The “Hair of the Dog” Approach

Take that morning Joe of yours and introduce him to a friend you hung out with last night that goes by the name of Jack Daniels. An instant partnership already has you covered and feeling just as good as the night before. These guys will help you lay out a plan on how to tackle that noon football game, daylong party, morning exam, or whatever you feel is right.

3. Wake and Bake

A stoner’s favorite pastime. Although Onward State does not promote illicit behavior, some students can’t resist the leafy goodness in the morning. Whenever drunk, kids seem to enjoy rolling joints, and most of them turn out pretty good. If rolling a joint to smoke it the next morning is the last thing on your agenda for the night, then you are in for a treat. If you’re able to fight off the cotton mouth, the high will put your senses in total relaxation mode until the munchies kick in and it’s time to order Wings Over. Right there, you’re killing two birds with one stone.

4. Breakfast!

I’m sure you’ve read the Onward Debate. Bagel Crust, hands down, is the best, but any single one of these places can cure a hangover. I’ll let you decide which is the most viable option.

5. Load up on the Electrolytes

Most students don’t have the luxury of sleeping in ’til noon, the willingness to start drinking again, or excellent joint-rolling skills for that matter. Some students have to wake up when some may just be going to bed. In a setting that feels like it’s still the middle of the night, these poor soldiers have to wake up and make it to their 9 a.m. because of the two measly points they will receive for attendance. Drinks like coconut water, Gatorade, and Pedialyte all have the essentials you need after a night of boozing.

6. A Shower and a Good Clean

It feels as if all the shame and regret is just washing right off you. Literally, it does. The hot water opens your pores, and you feel as if you have just been given a second chance to start the day. With the brushing of the teeth, the deed is done and you’re as good as new.

7. Over-The-Counter Medicines

Although I am not a fan of Advil or Ibuprofen, men and women swear by these medicines. However, it seems in this day and age they are becoming almost obsolete as students from all over the country are finding different and cooler ways to combat hangovers.

8. Sprite?

Sprite seems like the most practical option considering it’s the only option on this list to have serious research done on it. I don’t know though, something that you used as a chaser last night and are now substituting as cure to a hangover just does not seem right.

9. Hit the Gym

Just kidding. It really doesn’t make much sense to combat dehydration with more dehydration. Please, do less and refer to remedies one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, or eight. Any one of them is better. Well, maybe not two.

10. Old Reliable

Everything you just read was a lie. Reserved for the super hangover, the Old Reliable option will be able get you out of bed and ready to go no matter what you did the night before: Chipotle. Odds are you probably already missed breakfast time, so why even hesitate to make it to lunch at this point? The line will be long, but if you are able to hold out, your hangover will magically vanish. It’s a scientific phenomenon.

Did I miss any good ones? Let me know in the comments.

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About the Author

Jon Deasy

is a senior majoring in criminology from the Steel City. You can find him at the Rathskeller on a Saturday or in the library at four in the morning. He plans to attend law school in the future and enjoys writing about college kids committing the most comical crimes in State College. When he’s not busy, he’s aimlessly staring at his Twitter, @jon_deasy. You can reach him via email at [email protected].

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