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The Official Penn State vs. Michigan Drinking Game

The worst thing about away games is just that: They’re away. Nothing compares to a game in Beaver Stadium, and it’s always a little less fun when we all have to watch the game on TV instead of with 107,000 of our friends.

Regardless, we here at Onward State plan to make the most out of our Saturday. With that in mind, here is the drinking game we have created for tonight’s game against Michigan:

Every time Brady Hoke is caught clapping, drink until he stops.

If they show Allen Robinson’s catch from last year’s game, cheers “To A-Rob!” and drink for four overtimes seconds.

Whenever they show empty seats at the Big House, take a drink.

If Jabrill Peppers’ injury is mentioned, take a drink.

If a Penn State player “Lambeau Leaps” into the Michigan student section, finish your drink.

Every time Devin Gardner turns the ball over, chuckle quietly and take a drink.

If this guy show up again…

…laugh hysterically and finish your drink.

Every time Brady Hoke’s job security is brought up, drink for five seconds.

Anytime Penn State lines up in the Wildcat formation, take a drink.

Every time Christian Hackenberg is sacked, shed a single tear and drink.

Drink for 2.98 seconds if anyone mentions that the bowl ban/scholarship restrictions were dropped…

And drink for 4.09 seconds if anyone mentions that Joe Paterno’s wins were not reinstated. Be sure to pour one out for Joe, too.

If Penn State gets eight or more yards on a called run, chug your drink.

If Michigan scores a touchdown, chug your drink.

If two Penn State linemen block themselves, go buy a keg and finish it yourself.

Regardless of the outcome, at the end of the 4th quarter chug your drink for two extra seconds #NeverForget (Shoutout to commenter Steve Silver for this one.)

Enjoy the game! And drink carefully, you bunch of drunks.

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About the Author

Alex Robinson

Alex Robinson was Onward State's Acting Managing Editor/Resident Old Man. He lived in Harrisburg almost his whole life, but he says he's from California -- where he was born -- because that's more fun. He loves cats and Chinese food, but only separately. He met both Ben Affleck and Kanye West within a half hour, so the three of them are basically best friends. If you want to hear his #scorching #hot #takes, you can follow him at @ARobinsonPSU or email him at [email protected]


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