Drunk Student Attempts to Steal Hot Pockets, Gets Caught Immediately

Late night drunken cravings can land you in some serious trouble if you’re not careful, and we’re not talking about loading up on calories at Canyon Pizza.

According to State College police, a 20-year old Penn State student attempted to steal boxes of Hot Pockets and Pizza Rolls from McLanahan’s on Sunday night around 11 p.m. In a humorous but overall poor attempt, police said the student decided to blatantly stick the two boxes in his pants and tried to walk out of the store.

Upon noticing a larger than normal bulge, a McLanahan’s store manager nabbed the larcenist.

Police said the student was noticeably intoxicated and uncooperative, as drunken hunger tends to make people. However, the law is the law, and the student is now facing three citations for retail theft, public intoxication, and underage drinking.

Moral of the story: It’s always best to just bite the bullet and give up the six dollars for shitty frozen food.

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About the Author

Jon Deasy

is a senior majoring in criminology from the Steel City. You can find him at the Rathskeller on a Saturday or in the library at four in the morning. He plans to attend law school in the future and enjoys writing about college kids committing the most comical crimes in State College. When he’s not busy, he’s aimlessly staring at his Twitter, @jon_deasy. You can reach him via email at [email protected].

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