Quotes That Accurately Describe State College Bars

State College is truly #blessed to have such a wide variety of bar establishments so densely packed into a modest town. It’s fair to say that no two bars in State College are alike. In fact, they can be described in one single phrase, as we did below:

The Phyrst: “The line’s to Rita’s already.”

phyrst

If you’re planning on going to Happy Hour at the Phyrst, you better get there at least a half hour before it begins, or good luck getting in.

The Shandygaff: “My clothes just smell like smoke the next morning.”

shandygaff-facebook

Everyone (okay, almost everyone) loves the Gaff for its mix of great throwbacks, wild dancing, and $4 tallboys. The smoky atmosphere? Not so much.

Saloon: “A BONG WATER, PLEASE.”

saloon cut

If you go to Saloon on a Thursday and get a Monkey Boy that isn’t Bong Water, did you even go to Saloon on a Thursday and get a Monkey Boy?

Mad Mex: “Can I have a chicken burrito? And a beef one after that?”

Mad Mex Apple Cider Marg

It often happens that before you’ve even put a fork through your first $5 all-you-can-eat burrito, a waiter or waitress will stop by and ask you if you want another one. It’s a poor college kid’s paradise on a Monday night.

The All-American Rathskeller: “This place was the place to be back when I went to school.” – every PSU alum, ever.

Skeller-1

Talk to any returning Penn State alumni and they’ll tell you that the Skeller was the spot back in their day. It’s no surprise the place is packed with an older crowd on any given football weekend.

The Brewery: “Oh my gawd this Ashtray Shot is in an ashtray! That’s SO funny!”

The Brewery, a humble bar located behind Canyon Wings, is a goldmine of phenomenal shots, of which the most popular one has to be the Ashtray Shot. I can’t guarantee there’s any nicotine in it, but you’ve got to try it.

The Lion’s Den: “Ryan Lochte and Wiz Khalifa were here in the VIP section.”

Photo by @IAMTDott
Photo by @IAMTDott

Not many State College bars feature a VIP section. I mean, we’re mostly all college kids here. But when a celebrity hits up Happy Valley, they end up at the Den. Recently, Ryan Lochte hit up the Den after leaving a generous tip at Inferno.

Indigo: “All my SENIORS in da house TONIGHT!”

noel

If you’re in the mood to rage with a cup of Long Island Ice Tea in hand while a DJ continuously yells over dance music, Indigo is the place to be.

Bill Pickle’s Tap Room: “Wagon Wheel? I LOVE this song.”

If you love country music, you most certainly love Pickle’s on a Tuesday night. Good music and good food (try their peanut butter wings) is a recipe for a great time.

Cafe 210 West: “What flavor teas do you have?”

The teas at Cafe are to die for, and by to die for I mean you may very well land yourself at Mount Nittany Medical Center if you have too many of them.

Dark Horse Tavern: “Congratulations, you win a brand new vibrator!”

bacon shot

Dark Horse Tavern is not just known for its Lumberjack Shots, but its Kinky Trivia Nights. If you’re well versed in sexy facts, you could win yourself anything from toys to pornography.

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About the Author

Yuka Narisako

Yuka legally immigrated to the United States via airplane in 1996 from the small island nation of Japan. Since then she has migrated throughout the country and now identifies herself as a senior majoring in Architectural Engineering. The Shandygaff is her Happy Place, though she was once kicked out of the establishment after breaking her shoe and screaming “I LOVE DAY DRINKING. I’M HAVING FUN.” Yuka is overly enthusiastic about life in general, but especially Ja Rule, Halloween, and the puffy black vest she purchased from the Gap. You can reach her at [email protected], or through Twitter @yukahontass.

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