PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

About

The Official Penn State vs. Illinois Drinking Game

The worst thing about away games is just that: They’re away. Nothing compares to a game in Beaver Stadium, and it’s always a little less fun when we all have to watch the game on TV instead of with 107,000 of our friends.

Regardless, we here at Onward State plan to make the most out of our Saturday. With that in mind, here is the drinking game we have created for today’s game against Illinois:

Buy a bottle of Andre before the game, and every time the announcers say “Champaign”, take a drink.

If Matt Millen shows incredible sanctimony or talks about Joe Paterno during the broadcast, take a shot of Old Grand-Dad whiskey.

Take a shot for each student in the Illinois student section. (Spoiler alert: You’ll probably still be sober.)

If the announcers talk about Tim Beckman recruiting Penn State’s players in 2012, laugh, laugh some more, cheers to Michael Mauti and Mike Zordich, and drink for 4.2 seconds.

Every time James Franklin yells at a #B1G ref, take a drink.

If you actually made the trip to Illinois, chug until you aren’t sure where you are anymore.

If Illinois QB Wes Lunt’s relationship with James Franklin is mentioned, take a drink.

Any time Penn State lines up in the Wildcat formation, take a drink.

Every time Christian Hackenberg is sacked, shed a single tear and drink.

Drink for 2.98 seconds if anyone mentions that the bowl ban/scholarship restrictions were dropped…

And drink for 4.09 seconds if anyone mentions that Joe Paterno’s wins were not reinstated. Be sure to pour one out for Joe, too.

If Illinois scores a touchdown, chug your drink.

If Penn State loses, drink whatever you have left. If Illinois loses, drink Tim Beckman’s tears.

Enjoy the game! And drink carefully, you bunch of drunks.

About the Author

Alex Robinson

Alex Robinson was Onward State's Acting Managing Editor/Resident Old Man. He lived in Harrisburg almost his whole life, but he says he's from California -- where he was born -- because that's more fun. He loves cats and Chinese food, but only separately. He met both Ben Affleck and Kanye West within a half hour, so the three of them are basically best friends. If you want to hear his #scorching #hot #takes, you can follow him at @ARobinsonPSU or email him at [email protected]

Comments

Athletics

Center Ludvig Larsson Transfers To Penn State Hockey From Merrimack

The Swedish faceoff specialist graduated after three seasons at Merrimack, but will be immediately eligible to play for Guy Gadowsky in 2018-19.

Harris, Rivers Win Big Ten Titles On Final Day Of Competition

Penn State Women’s Soccer Releases 2018 Schedule

Penn State Women’s Lacrosse Loses To Penn 15-14 In Double OT

Penn State’s Kaleigh Riehl Headed To U.S. U-23 Camp

Student Life

Where Do Penn Staters Move After Graduation?

Not only is literally everyone at Penn State from “right outside of Philly,” ALMOST everyone also works “right outside of Philly.”

Penn Stater In The Running To Become Chief Taco Officer

Finding Your Penn State Beyond Penn State: Carolyn Popescu’s Senior Column

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

No Surprise Here: Saquon Barkley Can Throw, Too

Thirty yards out? No problem for Saquon Barkley.

Penn State Approved For Medical Marijuana Clinical Research

“The research component of Pennsylvania’s medical marijuana program sets it apart from the rest of the nation.”

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Penn Stater In The Running To Become Chief Taco Officer

Josiah Hritsko is one of three finalists to become Moe’s Southwest Grill’s “Chief Taco Officer.”

Send this to a friend