PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

About

The Official Penn State vs. Illinois Drinking Game

The worst thing about away games is just that: They’re away. Nothing compares to a game in Beaver Stadium, and it’s always a little less fun when we all have to watch the game on TV instead of with 107,000 of our friends.

Regardless, we here at Onward State plan to make the most out of our Saturday. With that in mind, here is the drinking game we have created for today’s game against Illinois:

Buy a bottle of Andre before the game, and every time the announcers say “Champaign”, take a drink.

If Matt Millen shows incredible sanctimony or talks about Joe Paterno during the broadcast, take a shot of Old Grand-Dad whiskey.

Take a shot for each student in the Illinois student section. (Spoiler alert: You’ll probably still be sober.)

If the announcers talk about Tim Beckman recruiting Penn State’s players in 2012, laugh, laugh some more, cheers to Michael Mauti and Mike Zordich, and drink for 4.2 seconds.

Every time James Franklin yells at a #B1G ref, take a drink.

If you actually made the trip to Illinois, chug until you aren’t sure where you are anymore.

If Illinois QB Wes Lunt’s relationship with James Franklin is mentioned, take a drink.

Any time Penn State lines up in the Wildcat formation, take a drink.

Every time Christian Hackenberg is sacked, shed a single tear and drink.

Drink for 2.98 seconds if anyone mentions that the bowl ban/scholarship restrictions were dropped…

And drink for 4.09 seconds if anyone mentions that Joe Paterno’s wins were not reinstated. Be sure to pour one out for Joe, too.

If Illinois scores a touchdown, chug your drink.

If Penn State loses, drink whatever you have left. If Illinois loses, drink Tim Beckman’s tears.

Enjoy the game! And drink carefully, you bunch of drunks.

About the Author

Alex Robinson

Alex Robinson was Onward State's Acting Managing Editor/Resident Old Man. He lived in Harrisburg almost his whole life, but he says he's from California -- where he was born -- because that's more fun. He loves cats and Chinese food, but only separately. He met both Ben Affleck and Kanye West within a half hour, so the three of them are basically best friends. If you want to hear his #scorching #hot #takes, you can follow him at @ARobinsonPSU or email him at [email protected]

Comments

Athletics

Penn State Women’s Soccer Poised For Strong 2018 Season

Erica Dambach’s Nittany Lions return a solid combination of experience and young talent. They’re ranked No. 4 to start the season.

Incoming Penn State Track & Field Athlete Kristian Marche Shot To Death In Philadelphia

Former Women’s Gymnastics Coach Files Lawsuit Against Penn State Over Handling Of Abuse Allegations

Men’s Soccer Trio, Reading United Win PDL Eastern Conference Title, Fall Short Of National Championship

Penn State Hockey’s Evan Barratt, Aarne Talvitie Participate In World Junior Summer Showcase

Student Life

Nike Releases New Penn State Sneakers

This year’s sneaker is available to purchase online for $109.99.

Penn State Parking Office Runs Into Student Permit Purchase Issues

Girirajan Lab Seeks To Bridge The Gap Between Fly And Human Genomes

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

Join Onward State: Fall 2018 Application

Onward State is hiring for the fall semester and we’d love to have you join us.

Fall Move-In Traffic & Construction Changes

When 40,000 students need to move back to State College over the course of four days or so, things are bound to get crazy.

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Assessing Penn State’s Front Seven Following Tuesday’s Medical Retirements

Penn State’s defensive line rotation will be shaken up following Ryan Buchholz’s medical retirement from football, while the coaching staff is letting the linebackers duel it out during camp.

Send this to a friend