The Great Wings Over Bracket Pt. 4: Death, Taxes and Honey Bar-b-que
We’re on to the Elite Eight of The Great Wings Over Bracket, and man was the Sweet Sixteen ever a battle. Here are last week’s results:
Some shockers in there. Let’s analyze the matchups, and let you get down to voting in the Final Four. Here’s what we’ve learned so far:
1) Honey Bar-b-que is a goddamn monster. I honestly don’t have much to say at this point. It would be an upset of historic proportions if it found a way to lose. Waffle Fries with Cheese never stood a chance.
2) Chipotle BBQ’s victory over Kickin BBQ was closer than expected. Chipotle BBQ is a great, disciplined flavor that gets to the line as often as it can, but it just doesn’t have the talent Honey Bar-b-que has. It’ll be out next round thanks to an unfortunate drawing. In a weaker region, it would have a shot at a championship appearance, but the dream will end here.
3) Cruisin’ Altitiude has benefitted from easy matchups, but will face a true test from the winner of the next one and may finally get knocked off. It’s an overrated flavor, but has performed up to its rating thus far.
4) Garlic Parmesan is the surprise of the tournament. It got a good seed, sure, but I don’t think anyone expected a dry rub wing, the mid-major of Wings Over flavor types, to go this far. It beat down everyone’s favorite sleeper in Jamaican Jerk in dominating fashion. This is a classic example of a team (flavor) getting hot at the right time.
5) Sweet Chili keeps trucking along. Garlic Parmesan Waffle Fries were a fan favorite without enough name recognition to make it further. If Wings Over offered the dry rubs with the waffle fries in combo packs, more people would be aware of them. It’s the system, man.
6) Golden BBQ took out the most overrated flavor in the tournament. Wimpy Buffalo is decidedly mediocre. It’s like when the selection committee can’t find a #1 seed so they just put Duke there and then Duke loses to Lehigh. Golden BBQ is the last great hope for sleepers in this bracket, and its supporters will have to come out in full force.
7) Waffle Fry Wars are real. Plain, the fifty cent combo pack upcharge standby, was nearly upstaged by little brother cajun Waffle Fries, with just a two percent margin of victory. They look very, very vulnerable agains their next opponent, who eked out a close one.
8) Honey Mustard is playing down to the competition. Hot Garlic is a solid flavor, but by no means should it stand on the same level as Honey Mustard. Yet it came down to the wire, with Honey Mustard garnering almost all of the last 60 votes to pull ahead. Considered a potential contender by many, Honey Mustard luckily takes on a vulnerable Waffle Fries (Plain) in the next round.
There you have it. The new matchups are in, now go vote and remember: you’re doing God’s work.
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About the Author
Though the Judicial Board has final say on the timing of implementing all policy changes, it is expected the changes will take effect for the 14th Assembly if approved.
Rednor is current a junior and the president of Zeta Tau Alpha sorority.
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