Hi, welcome to Townie 101. For those of you who don’t know what a “townie” is, it’s a Penn Stater among us who is from the State College area or one of the surrounding areas, such as Bellefonte. If you’re a townie reading this article, you can probably sympathize with me when I say that I get picked on for hailing from State College, almost as if it’s something I should be ashamed of. However, living life as a townie is simply the best thing any college student could ask for, besides being a Nittany Lion of course. With that said, here are the top 10 reasons why living in State College year-round is the best:

1. Free Rides

Don’t feel like walking somewhere or just feel like going to the mall? Call mommy! It works out even better when your parents are downtown and offer you a ride too. I mean, why wouldn’t I take advantage of a ride from mom or dad to take me to class when it’s below freezing outside and the Blue-Loop is already filled? I’d be clinically insane not too.

2. Free Hot Meals

When you’re down in the dumps or just plain broke, it’s very comforting to know your house is only a few miles away. Townies get to go home and raid their parents’ cupboards and fridges. Fortunately, they don’t mind because you’re home and they probably miss you even though you live in the same small town. Similarly, they’ll most likely send you home with and/or drop off their leftovers. Bottom line: free home-cooked meals.

3. Free Groceries

It’s the same concept as a free hot meal. As a townie, you can hitch a ride to Wal-Mart with your parents and they may even pay for all your groceries since townie parents are better than other parents. To this day, I have yet to pay for my groceries once this semester — thanks mom!

4. Free Laundry

Townies don’t need to worry about paying to do their laundry because once again, home is right around the corner. If you’re lucky enough, your parents may even do it for you and then bring it back into town on their way to work, all clean and neatly folded.

5. Knowledge of the Area

As a townie, you pretty much already know your way around downtown and most of campus. I was the kid who partook in a thousand summer camps at Penn State, but it left me with complete knowledge of campus. Not to mention, I spent a lot of time hanging out and eating downtown. If one thing is for certain, a townie will never get lost in State College.

6. Always Have a Friend

I kid you not, at least half of my high school graduating class came to this university. In fact, I haven’t had a single class in two and a half years without someone from my high school in it. Granted, I can’t stand the majority of the people I went to high school with, but it’s almost always nice to see a familiar face.

7. Always Have a Place to Go

You’re locked out, your neighbors are too loud while you’re trying to study, your roommate has sexiled you, or you’re wasted at Canyon and can’t get back to your apartment (been there). As a townie, you can always go back to your house. Sure, your parents might be less than thrilled to come pick your drunk ass up, but on the inside, they secretly love that they can still baby you even though you’re technically in college.

8. Access to Your Car

And when you’re not drunk, living in State College means having access to your car at any given moment.

9. Get to See Your Pets (and Family) Whenever You Want

I miss my cats more than anything. Seriously, I don’t understand how people at this school can stand to be away from their pets for months at a time. Of course, it’s great to see your parents too!

10. Tuition Discount

On the likely chance that one or both of your parents work for Penn State, you get 75 percent off your tuition — no questions asked. The only reason this is a townie thing is because you can’t exactly work for Penn State if you live more than half an hour away from the campus. So, townies win again.

The bottom line here is that sticks and stones may break a townie’s bones, but no matter how much you pick on us, we’re the ones living the good life.

Photo: Hannah Lane/Onward State