As spring blooms in State College, three things are certain: taxes, people lounging on Old Main’s lawn, and tours led by backwards-walking Lion Ambassadors. Wide-eyed prospective freshmen saunter around campus, naturally curious about the place they might spend the next four (or five, or seven) years. Do you remember how excited and naive you were? We tagged along on a campus tour and relived it for nostalgia’s sake. 

Here are a few of the best, worst, and most adorable things we overheard on a campus tour.  

Future Penn Stater who thinks it’s an episode of Oprah: “Does everyone get a free laptop?”

Future wisecracking Penn State dad: “More like Penn State Nittany SQUIRRELS!”
The same future wisecracking Penn State dad: *laughs at self for no less than two minutes*

Future Nittanyville president: “Why is it called Beaver Stadium if they’re, like, the Lions?”

 Future sorority girl: “I think I want to join Theta Pi triple D A B C.”

Current students walk by in THON T Shirts and scream “We Are!”
Future concerned Penn State mom, to daughter: “What is the THON? Please be safe.”
Embarrassed daughter: Did you even Google Penn State when I got in?

Future Aerospace Engineering major: “This actually doesn’t seem so hard!”

(Ah, the innocence.)

Future Penn State mom: “Is it crazy moving in here?”
Naive child of future Penn State mom: “Shut up, mom, you’re embarrassing me. Moving in will be easy.”

The tour halts at Old Main, because did you really visit Penn State if you don’t take an Instagram picture of Old Main? No, you didn’t.

Lion Ambassador: “The new HUB steps kind of look like the High School Musical steps, don’t they?”
Future Penn Stater: Just call me Gabriella because I’m seeing a lot of potential Troys.

Future Penn State socialite: Do you think there will be any parties tonight?
Future Penn Stater who watches the news: Not at KDR.

Future Penn State Mom (seriously, but quietly): What is all this 409 stuff? Is it on Lioncash?