Police Get Ass, Rescue Hank The Miniature Donkey
It sounds like the beginning of a cheap “You know you live in central Pennsylvania when…” joke. State College Police were called to retrieve an animal walking along Benner Pike around 12:30 p.m. on Saturday. When officers arrived at the scene, Hank the Miniature Donkey was corralled on the side of the road by concerned locals, who were probably also very confused as to how a donkey could be that small.
In a jackass decision, Hank left his home at Kyper Farm for what was likely meant to be a casual run. Eventually, Hank’s owner picked him up, happy to have his own personal L’il Sebastian back. Police said he and his family are now living comfortably, which makes sense, since he’s a donkey and probably doesn’t need much to be happy. According to the police report, Hank returned home no worse for wear, and is still adorable.
While it’s still unclear what possessed Hank to take an afternoon stroll, he was picked up near Metzger Animal Hospital, so the working theory is he was off to visit friends.
Hank couldn’t be reached for comment.
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“Our international students need to rely…on a safe and flexible learning environment that will help make possible the attainment of their educational goals in a safe and healthy manner.”
With barely six weeks until the first ball is kicked for the 2020 campaign, let’s see how the Nittany Lions might line up.
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