The Best Of The Legendary @PSU_Crush Twitter
The only thing more romantic than an anonymous secret admirer is one with a strong Twitter game.
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, we decided to peruse the legendary @PSU_Crush Twitter for the best declarations of Penn State love. We found everything from sweet to creepy, a lot of lust for the hockey team, and a few cases of the ex.
If your 140-character love ballad made the cut, I don’t know whether to say “sorry” or ‘you’re welcome.”
“The Irving’s boy who sold me a muffin when we didn’t know it was lemon… I gave you exact change but I should have given you my number”
— Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) April 15, 2015
This admirer somehow turned a puzzling interaction with a cashier into a smooth pick-up line. Props.
“My ex girlfriend…” — Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) February 4, 2015
Better in an anonymous tweet than in a late night drunk text.
“Luke Proudfoot: Are you from Japan, cause I want to get into your Japanties.”
— Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) December 26, 2014
I don’t know who Luke Proudfoot is, but I hope he really is from Japan.
“Liam from Pugh street, you look like a leprechaun. But baby I want you to get in this pot of gold” — Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) February 13, 2015
Backhanded pickup lines: risky and usually ineffective.
“Does anyone know the name of the waitress named Nicole at hiway pizza on atherton?! She is so perfect I would wife her in a second”
— Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) December 27, 2014
I’m not sure, but I think her name is Nicole.
“To the girl who threw a Mcdonald and Ford sign at my face walking to the debate you are gorgeous and I hope I run into you again” — Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) March 31, 2015
This seems like it’s off to a great start.
“David Glen, Max Gardiner, and Matt Skoff are the three hottest players on the hockey team. Hopefully one day we will meet”
— Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) November 12, 2015
All of you at once?
“Volleyball’s Laura Broerman is cuteness personified… I just want to put her in my shirt pocket and protect her from the world.” — Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) December 23, 2014
Laura Broerman: If you’re reading this, run far away.
“Casey Guernsey, do you work at mixed greens? Because you should toss my salad.”
— Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) November 10, 2015
“Katelyn Dandrea, the way you bite pokey sticks drives me crazy” — Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) September 9, 2014
Husband this secret admirer up, Katelyn.
“sara civian how tall are you anyway”
— Penn State Crushes (@PSU_Crush) September 24, 2014
I’m a hearty 5’2 and sufficiently creeped out.
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About the Author
The symbol of our best is now standing in the hall of fame, folks!
Even without Shareef Miller and Kevin Givens, Penn State’s defensive line has both the talent and depth to create havoc in 2019.
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