Mascots More Intimidating Than Bucky Badger

Look, we know Saturday’s Big Ten Championship vs. Wisconsin is going to be a battle. The nation’s third-best rush defense is no joke. But come on, you have got to be kidding me with Bucky Badger.

bucky-badger

Just here to kick ass and take names, exactly what Badgers are known for. (Photo: YOUniversityTV)

There’s nothing inherently wrong with Badgers, but the short-legged omnivores don’t exactly scream “ferocious.” Bucky’s inviting grin isn’t doing him any favors, either. I’d like to give Bucky a treat and a belly rub. I’d like to call him a good boy. Maybe he could have a children’s show where he educates youngsters about wildlife. Bucky is by no means the most awful mascot in college football, but even some of the worst are at least more intimidating.

lilred

Nebraska’s Lil’ Red (Photo: Off Tackle Empire)

WHY IS THIS A THING? Why is a little bubble boy who is constantly flailing upside down a college football mascot? Four-year-olds with sideways hats are actually incredibly frightening creatures, though. The thought of a playground rumble with Lil’ Red is still scarier than Bucky.

599px-Brutus_in_TX_2006

Brutus the Buckeye

Yeah, Ohio State’s mascot is literally a nut, but at least the buckeye is a poisonous nut…

otto-the-orange-1024x690Syracuse’s Otto the Orange (Photo: YOUniversityTV) 

You ever brush your teeth then bite into an Orange? No thanks.

purdue-pete Purdue Pete

A boilermaker is a craftsman who produces steel fabrications. For some reason, one of these is Purdue’s mascot. Pete is creepy as hell but in the weird uncle way, not in the “I’m going to harm you with this hammer” way. Still, creepy uncles are scarier than Bucky, our smiling little fuzzball.

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Wake Forest’s Demon Deacon (Photo: Wikipedia)

An adorable old man all spiffed up might seem as innocuous as mascots come, but wait — he’s on a motorcycle. Bucky does not have his license.

wichita-state-mascot

Wichita State’s WuShock (Photo: Business Insider)

WuShock might look exactly like a washed up frat boy, shocker hand motions and all, but he’s actually just a bundle of wheat. Yes, Wichita State’s mascot is a bundle of wheat. All that gluten is probably more dangerous than little Bucky.

stanford-tree

The Stanford Tree 

So, the Stanford tree isn’t Stanford’s official mascot, but does that really matter when you stand under it during a thunderstorm and get electrocuted? Bucky won’t do us like that.

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About the Author

Sara Civian

Sara Civian is one of Onward State's three ridiculously good looking managing editors, a hockey writer at heart, and an Oxford comma Stan. She's a senior majoring in journalism, minoring in history, and living at Bill Pickle's Tap Room. Her favorite pastimes are telling people she's from Boston, watching the Bruins, and meticulously dissecting the My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy album. She's seen Third Eye Blind live 14 times. If you really hate yourself, you can follow her at @SaraCivian or email her at [email protected]

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