We’re all starting to get used to the colors of the many committees working around the clock at the BJC, but we don’t think there’s nearly enough. Although THON seems to have covered all the major area of concern, there are a few more committees we’d add to the list of 16. Here’s a comprehensive list of the THON committees we wish existed:

Water Gun Fillers

Water guns are always a big hit at THON, but once you run out of water, they just take up space. A nice addition to the committee list would be a team that handles the circulation, operation, and maintenance of the water toys. Whether they’re Super Soakers or cheap water pistols from McClanahan’s, they’re an important part of the THON atmosphere and should be treated as such. We’d certainly apply.

Org Letter Organizers

As beautiful as they are, org letters must get heavy at some point during the 46-hour span. Creating some sort of pulley system to suspend org letters when members get tired would certainly be a feat of engineering, making an org letter organizer committee the perfect place for some of the brightest minds at Penn State.

Baby Powder Relations

Every once in awhile, THON attendees will see that familiar white dust fill the air that fills them with child-like satisfaction. As wonderful as the baby powder is for the dancers and, er, nostalgic it is for spectators, the film it creates on every single surface in the BJC can be a little frustrating. All we need are a few brave souls willing to race against time and control the dispersion of the powder — for the kids and for our esophagi.

R&R Anger Translators

The Rules and Regulations committee members are pretty good at keeping their cool while on the job, but enforcing the rules for the entirety of THON can’t always be fun. When people around the concourse just aren’t listening, R&R anger translators could certainly get the real message across. It’s time for another Keegan-Michael Key to make an appearance in Happy Valley.

(Bring Back) Moralers

They didn’t disappear…their names just changed. We still think “moraler” has a nice ring to it.