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The Weirdest Penn State Stuff Available On The Internet

If you type “Penn State stuff” into Google, you won’t be surprised by the results — T-shirts, hats, decor, blah, blah, blah. Do a little more digging, however, and you’ll discover some of the more, well, niche Penn State-branded items available on this beautiful and strange thing we call “the internet.” Take a look at what we found doing just that.

James Franklin may not have seen early success at Penn State, but your kid certainly can:

(Photo: GoodSportDesign | Etsy)

Where…where would you possibly wear these? I’m all for funky daylong outfits, but the weird Johnny Bravo and NASA references go way over my head:

(Photo: kevgib | Redbubble)
(Photo: alexrae3 | Redbubble)

Gnomeo and Juliet would have turned out a lot differently if it was a family of these Penn State gnomes warring with a clan of Ohio State gnomes. There wouldn’t be a happily ever after, much like the original Romeo and Juliet:

(Photo: Evergreen | Amazon)

There’s a surprising amount of Penn State lingerie available online. Some are suitable for a Penn State wedding, others suitable more for the wedding night, and the most far-fetched of all most suitable for some kind of rave:

(Photo: Sugarplum Garters | Etsy)
(Photo: JDCreationsCaLLC | Etsy)
(Photo: JDCreationsCaLLC | Etsy)


(Photo: Smokinghotdivas | Etsy)

They might be onto something with this strange drinking mitten

(Photo: theheadsaid | Etsy)

Before you clock me on this one, know that I do understand where this one was going. “Shhhhhh, the Nittany Lions are on” displayed across your soles on gameday? Inspired!

My criticism here is the logo choice. “Shhhhhh, the Penn State are on” will make people question if you even got your degree at all:

(Photo: TayloredCustomThings | Etsy)

Imagine paying more than five dollars for this giant white sheet with a logo on it. If you don’t have superhuman vision like the rest of us, it just says “Penn State”:

Think it’s stupid to brand your bread? We don’t.


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About the Author

Gabriela Stevenson

Gabriela is a senior majoring in print and digital journalism and Onward State's student life editor. She is from Norristown, PA, which she normally refers to as "30 minutes outside of Philadelphia" (she looked up the exact driving time). She enjoys Broadway musicals, neck pillows, and eating cereal at night. To contact Gabriela, e-mail her at [email protected], or follow her on Twitter @GabiStevenson if you want to feel young again.


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