Between her guest appearance on The Hills in 2008, six years spent on the hit reality TV show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and her role in Couples Therapy, Taylor Armstrong has had her fair share of publicity and time spent in the public eye.

She shared her heartbreaking experience with domestic violence in a lecture to students at the HUB Monday night as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month in collaboration between SPA and the Gender Equity Center.

Armstrong discussed her her abusive marriage to Russell Armstrong from 2005 until 2011, when he took his own life. She said she endured devastating emotional and physical abuse during this time, and also experienced strict financial control, despite being on a hugely popular TV show. During this time, Armstrong had no access to physical cash, as a response to her husband’s fear that she would stockpile their money in attempts to leave him.

“He would tell me that, ‘If you leave, I will bankrupt you until you are living in a cardboard box and are declared a completely unfit mother and that I’ll take your child.’ Well, that is about the most terrifying thing a mother can hear,” Armstrong said.

Taylor and Russell had one child together, Kennedy Armstrong, now age 12.

Domestic violence is an issue that affects all members of the family. Armstrong started to choke up when she shared that her daughter Kennedy once asked her after Russell Armstrong passed, “Mommy, why would you miss a boy that screams at you all the time?”

Armstrong had hoped that the cameras surrounding herself and her family for The Real Housewives would provide some sort of protection that would force her abuser to behave. Hope in an abusive relationship, she later shared, “is a very dangerous thing, and yet it is something that keeps coming back.”

Armstrong shared with the audience some red flags to watch out for in a potentially abusive relationship. She says extreme jealousy and controlling patterns are common signs. An abuser may tell a victim how to dress, how to act, or force them to feel a certain way. They will also encourage isolationism, which can negatively affect the victim and those surrounding him or her. She shared advice for victims and said they’ll need a strong support system and someone they can confide in once they decide to leave.

“The day that a victim decides to leave is their most dangerous day,” Armstrong said.

She also shared advice for the support system surrounding an abuse victim, telling them to stick it out. On average, a victim will return to their abuser seven times before they finally decide to leave permanently.

Armstrong said her husband once told her, “You make me so mad sometimes I’m afraid I could kill you.”

By that point, Armstrong had to begin fearing for not only her life, but also what her daughter Kennedy’s life would be like growing up without a mother. She explained the final blow that pushed her to file for divorce is when she ended up needing reconstructive surgery on her face after Russell had punched her.

Her biggest regret? “That I did not leave sooner.”

Armstrong spoke in a press conference to a smaller group of student reporters prior to the lecture, sharing that she chose to write a book and to tour speaking about her story because she believes domestic violence is a topic that needs to be talked about. She noted that very few women can tell their stories due to the fear that their abusers are still out there.

“My life was spared,” Armstrong said. “I will continue to tell my story so that other lives are spared.”