There are many ridiculous ways to draw attention to your event, but the Citrus Bowl has taken the cake with the “notes” from its final bowl selection committee meeting.

Because we love reality TV so much, instead of redacting teams this year, we're replacing each team name with the name of a @Bravotv Real Housewife. Time to get weird.

— Cheez-It Citrus Bowl (@CitrusBowl) November 28, 2018

Penn State’s most likely bowl destination at this point is the Citrus Bowl, so you would have to think at least one of these six tweets is about the Nittany Lions.

As great as it would have been to get on with my life and write this paper I’m avoiding (Happy end of the semester!), my roommate and I are stuck here in a serious dilemma: Which damn Real Housewife is Penn State football?!

Let’s investigate:

Ruled Out:

Kyle Richards

https://twitter.com/CitrusBowl/status/1067925175059038211

This Beverly Hills lass is the least likely. Of the three teams Penn State lost to this season, Michigan and Ohio State are probably heading to the New Year’s Six. That leaves just Michigan State, who is just lucky to be bowl eligible after a late season loss to Nebraska and a near-loss to Rutgers. Forget Orlando — the Spartans will be heading down the road to Detroit’s Quick Lane Bowl.

Cynthia Bailey 

"I can't imagine passing over @CynthiaBailey10 for someone who has a much worse conference record." #RHOA

— Cheez-It Citrus Bowl (@CitrusBowl) November 29, 2018

With three conference losses, it’s a wonder Penn State’s ranked as high as it is. I imagine the Citrus Bowl’s Big Ten tie-in backup for the Nittany Lions is Northwestern — with two regular season conference losses — if it loses to Ohio State in the Big Ten title game.

Lisa Vanderpump or Dorit Kemsley

"There is a scenario where is @LisaVanderpump loses to @DoritKemsley1 and that's bad for us." #RHOBH

— Cheez-It Citrus Bowl (@CitrusBowl) November 28, 2018

Penn State isn’t playing in a championship game this weekend (Sad!), so neither of these housewives could possibly be the Nittany Lions.

Still, it might involve the Nittany Lions. Our sources tell us Dorit likes to start drama (Georgia) and Lisa Vanderpump is a name I recognize for God knows what reason (Alabama). If the Bulldogs prevail in the SEC title game and the playoff committee takes two SEC schools, Penn State could be first in line for an open New Year’s Six bowl. That means the Citrus Bowl misses out on getting the Nittany Lions for its game.

Possible Housewives

Lisa Rinna 

"I've been to see @LisaRinna a number of times this year and I've been told by (her) fans every time, 'I'd love to go to Florida.'" #RHOBH

— Cheez-It Citrus Bowl (@CitrusBowl) November 28, 2018

If you sat out in the freezing rain to see Penn State play Maryland last week, you’d be begging the nice Citrus Bowl folk to take us to Florida too.

Porsha Williams

"I can tell you, @Porsha4real would love to come here. (She) still talks about (her) last trip here." #RHOA

— Cheez-It Citrus Bowl (@CitrusBowl) November 29, 2018

Penn State went to the Citrus Bowl on New Year’s Day in 2010 — when it was the Capital One Bowl — and beat LSU. It sounds like a game that would bring back fond memories for sure, so it’s a possibility. But Porsha isn’t the winner.

The Real Housewife of Happy Valley

*drum roll*

Kandi Burruss 

"I think @Kandi is realistically still in our pool to pick from." #RHOA

— Cheez-It Citrus Bowl (@CitrusBowl) November 28, 2018

I have never heard of her and have no table-flipping references to offer like I hoped to have had by this point in the post. But still, this is probably the most realistic choice. Penn State will likely be the highest ranked team left out of the New Year’s Six. Maybe the Citrus Bowl committee didn’t expect to have a team that entered the year ranked in the top 10 with a Heisman candidate quarterback, but that’s exactly who Kandi is.