As a self-proclaimed fast walker, I pride myself on getting from point A to point B on campus rather quickly. Google Maps insists that a walk from Atherton Hall to the Forum Building takes 12 minutes, a statistic I heartily scoff at now after having trekked this distance in a matter of 8 minutes without ever breaking into a full sprint.

I know. I know. Please hold your applause.

Here at Onward State, we are no stranger to helping students get to class promptly. To add to our portfolio of shortcuts, I introduce to you: the Mueller-Althouse Tunnel.

This hidden gem stems through Mueller Lab, Frear North, and ends coming out of Althouse Lab facing the Chemical/Biomedical Engineering Building. It takes about six minutes to stroll through.

Mueller Lab is located on the outskirts of the lab quad, which sits east of the Paterno Library. Upon entering the side Mueller Lab facing Whitmore Lab, you”ll want to go through the doors on the farthest right side of the lobby and then boom.

After that, it’s pretty straight forward. Literally, just keep going straight until you see the light of day again.

I highly encourage you to check this shortcut out, even if you have no practical use for it.

The mundane walls, low-hanging ceiling, echoes created from your screams friendly conversation, and overbearing smell of biological growth media are the perfect cocktail for the ideal spooky season experience.

What says October more than a monotonous, dank corridor? I’d say you have a pretty decent chance of finding two identically dressed twin girls holding hands at the end of this hallway.

Plus, the overarching feeling of being murdered or haunted at any second will encourage you to exit the tunnel as fast as possible, getting you to your destination quicker than you ever imagined.

A tool this useful makes you wonder why it hasn’t been talked about more. Perhaps the long-lost Joe Paterno statue is hidden within the steampipes or cemented over in the walls. Our guess is as good as yours.

This tunnel is a sight you won’t want to miss — even if it’ll make you miss sweet, sweet daylight.