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Things Less Scary Than Ally Schlegel’s Pink Headband

Penn State women’s soccer forward Ally Schlegel and her trademark pink headband are a force to be reckoned with.

The redshirt sophomore dons the accessory for each and every game, and so far, that’s meant nothing but success for her on the field. In her breakout freshman season, Schlegel’s 11 goals helped her win Big Ten Freshman of the Year, making her the first Nittany Lion to do so since Emily Ogle in 2014.

In 2021, Schlegel hasn’t skipped a beat. On Monday, the rising star received Big Ten Player of the Week honors after scoring twice in 30 minutes against Minnesota and then notching another impressive goal in Penn State’s clash with Michigan State. She’s currently tied with senior Sam Coffey for a team-high six goals this season.

Simply put, opponents have a reason to fear the pink headband and everything it represents: tenacity, talent, and pure grit. To put this into perspective, we’ve compiled a list of all the things less frightening than Schlegel’s go-to headpiece.

Realizing You Have Something Due At Midnight When It’s 11 p.m.

I think everyone can relate to the paralyzing fear of suddenly remembering that you have an assignment due at midnight with less than an hour to complete it. Immediately, you’re sent into a state of panic, and you fumble to put some words together on a page while your hands sweat and your heart races.

This is the same crippling feeling that opposing players experience when they’re forced to stare down Schlegel and her pink headband. After all, there’s a reason you don’t wait until the last hour to start your homework. It’s just not going to end well for you.

Walking Up Shortlidge Road

There’s nothing Penn Staters dread more than needing to make the trek up Shortlidge Road on the way to class or your dorm. You’re guaranteed to work up a sweat and drain all of your energy before even beginning your day. And just when you think you’re almost to the finish line, the hill keeps going. That’s how players feel when they try to defend Schlegel: exhausted and outmatched.

The Stacks

It gets eerie pretty quickly in the Stacks, and you don’t need to be reminded of the unsolved murder that took place there more than 50 years ago to be aware of that. Even if you desperately need a quiet space to cram for an exam, the Stacks are simply not the move. Neither is going up against the former Big Ten Freshman of the Year.

Waking Up From A Mid-Zoom Nap To Your Professor Calling Your Name

This one’s sure to send chills down your spine. Do you unmute yourself and come up with an excuse? Do you panic and leave the meeting? Pretend to have an audio issue? Honestly, none of these are going to get you out of the hole you dug yourself — just like there’s no way to prevent Schlegel and her pink headband from finding the back of the net and constantly fooling opponents on the field.

James Franklin Calling A Play On 4th & 5

This one speaks for itself. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy to need to stand in the student section of Beaver Stadium and watch an elite Penn State offense line up for a 4th & 5 play. It’s a recipe for disaster, folks.

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About the Author

Rory Pelella

Rory is a junior from Binghamton, New York majoring in Spanish and journalism. She has been bleeding blue and white ever since her older siblings decided to create a family dynasty in Happy Valley. She loves anything Penn State (especially Yallah), the Yankees, Knicks, Giants, and a good old fashioned New York slice. Feel free to email her at [email protected] or follow her on twitter @rorypelella.

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