The promised land has reopened for business, folks!

Beaver Stadium has been prepped for you, and it’s time to start prepping back. Whether you’re an alum, an expert, or a newbie, we all know the return of Penn State football brings more to Happy Valley than just four quarters of pure adrenaline.

Fresh off an electric opening week in Wisconsin, let’s review some gameday commandments for every type of fan…even you, freshmen.

Drip Out In Swag

From jerseys to cheerleader skirts, snag your swag nice and early. Searching for that perfect social media post? Mix, match, or customize your clothes! Tailgate attire is no joke on gameday, and a one-of-a-kind crop top is only scissors and a trip downtown away.

Staples include jeans, sneakers, and a Penn State tee for the win. The forecast is your friend here, as hats and sunnies are practical but fabulous accessories. And don’t you dare forget the lion ears. And sunscreen!

Study Like You’re Headed To The Pollock Testing Center

Not for class, people. Excited to cheer loudly but not sure when? Well, we’ve got you covered.

If you’re heavy on pride but light on knowledge, consider adding a little education to your pregame. Study some rules, look at the highlights, and review the roster to make the whole day as clear as a State College sky.

Not big on the books? Avoid yelling about a home run, looking for free throws, or discussing club selection. Don’t worry if you’re no expert. With more than 100,000 fans in Beaver, you’re guaranteed to be in good company.

Raise The Song. No, Seriously

Almost as iconic as the idea of black shoes and basic blues is the tradition of the Penn State football playlist. From “The Hey Song” to “Sweet Caroline” to the Alma Mater, prepare your pipes to sing along — an unspoken requirement of admission. Consider it an initiation into the rowdiest student section in the country.

Stick To Your Limit Like 35 mph On College Ave

No need to speed! Tailgate in proportion, and don’t let the return of tradition leave you curled up in the back of someone’s Ford Expedition in Lot G. Don’t be that guy, Penn Staters. Avoid the shame, and hold a few ideas close.

Keep an eye on your tribe, enjoy accordingly, and stay hydrated during the long but fun day. Too much of even the sweetest things turn sour quickly, folks.

Plan Like A Penn State Dad At The Airport

Remember when your father had you leave for the airport at 6 a.m. for that 4:30 p.m. flight to Orlando? In a tense combination of yelling, packing, and ultimately losing your ticket-holding privileges to a pair of angry New Balances, you didn’t quite understand the hustle in kindergarten.

Well, the importance of gameday will give you some clarity. Channel that childhood trauma into Saturday, kids! Up and at ‘em is the name of the game. That State College sun will be up at 6:48 a.m., and you shouldn’t be far behind.

And in the theme of New Balances, walking is your friend on gameday. Avoid buses like the plague unless you’re excellent at making friends or if you put on ample amounts of deodorant in advance. It may seem like a pain, but walk if you can.

Gather The Groupchat For A Successful Entrance

Before entering, rally the troops around the infamous Big Rock outside Gate A. Once you’re in together, sit down at your own risk. Or don’t. Please don’t. The only acceptable time to sit down is during the halftime show. Otherwise, no butts in seats under any circumstances.

Additionally, “popcorning” after a touchdown is highly suggested. Sorry, students, we don’t make the rules. If you’re looking for some pregame festivities, march along with the Blue Band in their parking lot parade, or even line up for player arrival as players and coaches ride into Beaver Stadium. Set up camp early for the chance to high-five your favorites, of course.

Cradle Your Phone Like You’re Saquon Running For The End Zone

Please, for the love of Barron, keep your phone close at all times. In 2021, your phone is not just the means to flex on your friends back home — it’s now your ticket, along with other new security measures. While charging stations are present outside Beaver Stadium, juice up the night before and choose Snapchat over Instagram to save battery and enjoy the moment. Low-power mode is your best friend on gameday.

Another thing — Penn State WiFi here can smell fear, especially 10 minutes to kickoff. Do Nittany Nation a favor and download your ticket to Google Pay or Apple Wallet in advance. Finally, remember your Student ID number. Even the Nittany Lion will send you packing without it.

Chicken Baskets Are Required

From Mom’s tailgate chili to a pizza cone in the stands, Saturday’s cuisine represents the essence of gameday itself — popular among the masses, a bit distinct in smell, and delicious for fans in every way. Feed the soul, ditch the diet, and jump on the train to calories fulfilled.

From a pint of Alumni Swirl to a gigantic Pepsi, there’s something for everybody. Still, if you take anything away from this, let it be the following: Chicken baskets are the way, the only way, to an authentic (and borderline religious) gameday experience. Dripping sensationally in grease and glistening upon a bed of fries, the chicken basket is the ultimate treat of Penn State football. Do yourself a favor and pay with meal points. This one’s on mom and dad!