Simp For The Blimp: An Open Letter To The Goodyear Blimp
Dear Goodyear Blimp,
Let me start off by saying that your performance at the White Out game was phenomenal. You looked so majestic up there that I could hardly take my eyes off of you.
I think I spent more time watching you float above the stadium than I did watching the actual game. I would say that I’m ashamed to admit this, but that would be a lie. As I watched you glide across the darkening sky, drifting among the ominous clouds, I couldn’t help but fantasize about what it might be like to take a ride for myself.
Earlier this year, the NUTmobile gave us a ride around campus, and the Wienermobile took us for a spin last year. I’d hate to give you third place in the official rankings of oversized vehicles at Penn State, but I don’t see how I have a choice. At least not until I experience blimp life for myself.
So, what do you say? Care to circle back to Happy Valley and take me for a loop? You wasted no time when heading to Twitter to express your love for Penn State, so why not come back for a victory lap?
That’s big talk for a blimp, and you certainly wouldn’t want the Nittany Lions to think you’re full of hot air. So, it’s really in your best interest that you head back to Happy Valley ASAP. I’ll be here waiting, even if it takes a Goodyear (and there are plenty more blimp puns where that came from.)
I also have a lot of blimp-related questions that I’m sure you could answer for me. Is there a bathroom onboard? How fast can you go? Have you ever considered aerobatics? What if you pop? I won’t rest until I have answers.
I’ll admit it, I’m a simp for the blimp! So, float back on over to Penn State and make my dreams come true.
From Happy Valley with love,
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About the Author
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