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Things That Are Less Likely Than A Jordan Stout Touchback

Penn State special teamer Jordan Stout has been money this year when it comes to kicking touchbacks. The redshirt senior already has 24 touchbacks on 25 kickoffs this season.

When the goal is to keep your opponent from running the kick back, you Stout to be the guy in charge. To put his reliability into perspective, we compiled a list of things that are somehow less likely than a Jordan Stout touchback.

James Franklin Tweeting ‘1-0’ Every Week

Franklin’s new tradition this season is tweeting the phrase “1-0” every week this season as opposed to repeating the name of Penn State’s upcoming opponent. Even though this is Franklin’s new thing, I would still expect that Stout is more likely to kick a touchback than for Franklin to keep this tradition going. He posts these like clockwork every Sunday night.

Death & Taxes

They’re the only two guarantees in life, folks. We all die, and we all wind up giving away money to the government. Sad, isn’t it? Still, death and taxes are somehow even less likely than Jordan Stout sailing a kick far past the end zone.

A Child To Be Born

The birth of a child is something that happens every day all over the world. With well over 7.8 billion people living on earth, it’s not shocking that about 385,000 people are born every day. Although this happens thousands of times every day, I would say Jordan Stout putting a kickoff into the endzone has a way better chance of happening.

The Sun To Come Up

The star at the center of our solar system rises in the east every morning and sets in the west every night, and it especially looks beautiful right here in State College. The sun may be over 4 billion years old and has done its job every day, but you never know. Jordan Stout however kicking a touchback during games is way more likely than the sun rising.

Your Heart To Beat

Having a heartbeat is something that everyone needs (literally). Beating about 100,000 times a day, a heart is essential to your everyday life. Even though your heart beats every day, I would say that seeing a touchback by Stout on a Saturday is way more likely than your heart to beat.

The Willard Preacher Preaching

Every time students pass Willard Building, it’s almost a guarantee the Willard Preacher will be there lecturing to a crowd about some eccentric belief. He doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon, but Stout putting the receiving team at the 25-yard line is way more likely than a mid-day sermon.

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About the Author

Matt Brown

Matt is a sophmore majoring in Broadcast Journalism from Bensalem, Pa. Matt is a huge Philadelphia sports fan, and an overall sports fan in general. When not watching sports you'll find him watching reruns of The Office or Friends. To reach him follow him on Twitter and Instagram @matt_brown63 or email him at [email protected]


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