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Your Best ‘Why I Got Kicked Out Of A Bar’ Stories: Part Two

Happy Valley’s bar scene is teeming with places to have a good time, and we all know Penn Staters are the life of the party. To really grasp that fact, we recently asked you to share your best kicked-out-of-a-bar stories, new and old.

Last week’s installment featured a purse full of stolen fries, a contraband Tampax poster, and some serious B.O. This week’s installment is somehow just as wild, folks.

Here are a few more of our favorite responses that Penn Staters sent in.

Anonymous: Pickle’s

A Penn Stater from the Class of 2016 got a little ~too~ ambitious trying to join her of-age friends at Pickle’s Country Night. She used her fake ID and miraculously got into the bar undetected, but her friend wasn’t so lucky. Already intoxicated from the night’s previous excursions, Anonymous was determined to get her friend into the bar.

“She was standing outside like a sad puppy because she didn’t get in,” Anonymous said.

Anonymous had the genius idea to help her friend hop over the fence surrounding the Pickle’s deck and then ran in after her. The two managed to maneuver themselves over the fence and into the bar, running straight to the women’s bathroom upon entry. After laying low for a while, Anonymous and her friend got a few drinks and carried on with their night, or so they thought. As soon as a bouncer spotted the two girls, they got the boot. They even tried to hop the fence for a second time but to no avail.

Ryan: Zeno’s

Ryan, an alum from the Class of 2019, established his very own “Bring Your Dad To The Bar” day, and it earned him his first kicked-out-of-a-bar story. He strolled his parents around the Happy Valley bar scene and his dad, an alum from the Class of 1981, started to feel nostalgic. Ryan’s dad wanted to pay a visit to his old favorite bar, Zeno’s, which he reportedly got kicked out of more times than he could count. At the bar, Ryan’s dad continued to drink and reminisce on his times at Penn State. Before Ryan knew it, his dad was yelling at the bartender and getting them both kicked out.

“Lackluster compared to the alleged brawls that were commonplace among rival frats in that basement in the early 80s, but my only time being kicked out of a bar,” Ryan admitted.

Kathy: Bar Bleu

In 2006, Kathy and her friends embarked on the bar crawl to end all bar crawls for her 22nd birthday. Bar Bleu came late in the night and, at some point, Kathy woke up on the ground surrounded by men. She looked up to see her best friend, who was actively trying to drag her off the ground, and asked what was happening.

“You’re in the men’s room, and we have to leave,” Kathy’s friend said.

Shannon: The Gaff

The Gaff was empty, and Shannon spotted a random shot sitting on the bar. Since the shot clearly looked lonely, Shannon did the selfless deed of taking it. Hey, free booze, right? Shannon took the shot and quickly found out it was straight whiskey.

“I don’t do whiskey,” Shannon said.

After gagging for a minute, Shannon thought she was in the clear. One burp and she’d be fine, right? Wrong. Shannon puked all over the bar and promptly got the boot — all while still sober!

No-Name: The Cell Block (Now Stage West)

This unnamed Penn Stater is an alum from the Class of 2008. It was Dollar Shot Night, and No-Name ordered two of everything. After drinking his and his buddy’s share, No-Name lost control of his legs and fell backward onto a pool table.

“I laid on my back like a turtle on its shell,” No-Name said.

Luckily for No-Name, he lived above McLanahan’s and was no stranger to being “gently removed” from the establishment. The bouncers at The Cell Block carried him out the side door and to his apartment. Nice guys!

Dominic: The Phyrst

Dominic, a 2014 grad, was determined to have the classic 21st birthday experience at The Phyrst. Dominic and his friends got in line for the bar after pregaming, and his roommate was clearly feeling the alcohol in his system. This was when Dominic’s birthday took a turn.

A guy ahead of them in line dropped his phone, and Dominic’s roommate kicked the device across the pavement. Luckily, the group managed to avoid a fight by lying, but it was clear that Dominic’s roommate meant to do it.

By the time the group entered the bar, Dominic’s roommate was stumbling down the stairs and nearly falling left and right.

“Of course, the bouncers saw this and kicked us out before we could even get in,” Dominic said. “On MY 21st birthday!”

Greg: Cafe 210 West (And Six Others)

In the summer of 2008, Greg’s buddy was in town and decided to have his bachelor party in State College. The party started at Cafe 210 West, where the group got kicked out for heckling campers walking by. Next, the bachelor got the boot from The Den for hopping the patio fence to greet some friends. By the time they reached their next few stops, getting kicked out became a running joke. They even asked the bartender to throw the bachelor out for no reason!

As the night went on, the group shrunk as they lost people who were sick of paying cover charges after each bar. Greg isn’t sure how many bars they got kicked out of that day, but it was at least seven. What a way to pregame married life!

Brittany: Primanti Brothers

Brittany, an alum from the Class of 2018, skipped the line for the women’s bathroom and snuck into the men’s bathroom. Unfortunately, one of the guys in the bathroom tattled on her, and she was escorted out through the fire exit. Whoops?

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About the Author

Megan Dougherty

Megan Dougherty is a senior majoring in English and an associate editor at Onward State. She loves making music, consuming the maximum daily amount of coffee recommended by the FDA, and overanalyzing Taylor Swift lyrics. Feel free to follow her on Instagram @meganedougherty and forward any (free) The Eras Tour tickets to her email, [email protected]

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