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Brainstorming Penn State-Themed Insults & Comebacks

It can be difficult to go day to day without being roasted, toasted, and burned by your friends, professors, and the Willard Preacher.

Oftentimes, you might feel the urge to say something clever back or maybe you keep your mouth shut. Maybe you do say something back but no one gets your reference or it was just dry as hell.

Regardless of your current situation, let’s face it, getting publicly roasted is humiliating. It’s almost as bad as losing the Peach Bowl. So, why not turn the tables and try out something different, yet familiar?

With that in mind, our staff brainstormed some Penn State-themed insults and comebacks for you to keep in your back pocket the next time you get cooked. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

  • “I hope you get rejected from the Den.”
  • “You’re more of a nut than an Ohio State Buckeye.”
  • “Mike Yurcich wouldn’t even tell you to run the ball.”
  • “A cocktagon on gameday is more popular than you.”
  • “Listening to you makes me want to introduce myself to the Willard Preacher and get lectured on why sex is bad.”
  • “You’re more disappointing than sober DP Dough.”
  • “I hope you get assigned Pollock.”
  • “You’re so stupid you probably failed freshman seminar.”
  • “You smell like my bathroom after I demolish a Yallah burrito.”
  • “I don’t know what’s worse, your personality or losing the Peach Bowl.”
  • “You’re like Natty Lights…an acquired taste.”
  • “Canyon Pizza looks more appetizing than you.”
  • “I’d have more fun at HUB Late Night than hanging with you.”
  • “I know you’re a pledge, but what am I?”
  • “You remind me of the IM Building…used by a bunch of freshmen.”
  • “The salads from Fiddlehead are dressed better than you.”

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About the Author

Sophie Yadzinski

Sophie Yadzinski is a sophomore from Fairfax Station, VA studying Security and Risk Analysis. She loves Drake, Legos, and traveling. When she is not taking pictures you might find her teaching hot yoga or running. If you want to reach out to her, follow @s.yadzphotos or so3_yadz on Instagram.

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