Being the head coach of a Division I athletic program is hard work.

After a long day of grabbing a Big Ten title or learning how to move forward after the sudden departure of your leading scorer, everybody needs a place to land, sit back, and get away from all the headaches associated with leading a Penn State athletic team.

So, that got us wondering: where would Penn State’s most adored head coaches choose to hang up their quarterzip and kick their feet up? As bars around the State College area are more suited to certain crowds than others, here’s where we think Penn State head coaches would frequent the most based on their playing styles and just some ~vibes~ they give off.

Mike Rhoades: Bill Pickle’s Taproom

There’s an Instagram reel from when Penn State men’s basketball returned to Rec Hall and pulled a huge upset over the Fighting Illini in February. Rhoades says in the video of the win, “Fun, that was fun. Right, I know y’all are going to Pickle’s — I’ll see you tomorrow.”

There are a couple of things to unpack here. Rhoades had Pickle’s on the brain. The fact that the first place he thought of to celebrate the team’s surprise win over Illinois was, in fact, on South Allen Street says a lot about the man in charge of the new era of Penn State basketball.

I have a feeling that rather than folks “see[ing] you tomorrow,” there was probably a good chance that you could’ve spotted him catching one of their all-day specials on Miller Lite in a post-“Return to Rec” celebratory win.

Carolyn Kieger: Brothers Bar & Grill

This one is a no-brainer. Carolyn Kieger is a Midwest native through and through. Born in Minnesota and an alum of Marquette University in Wisconsin, both as a four-year starter and later head coach for the Golden Eagles, Kieger is no stranger to America’s Dairyland and the Central time zone.

While Brothers is the new kid on the block, the newest eatery in the State College area is a throwback to the idea of an “old Midwestern corner tavern” and offers many Midwestern-inspired items on its menu to match. Featuring Wisconsin cheese curds and all the variations of burgers, fish, and chicken one could imagine, we’d be willing to bet that Kieger would enjoy the occasional taste of home without having to leave hearty Appalachia.

Guy Gadowsky: Primanti Bros.

You either hate or love State College PMan’s, and I have a feeling that Guy Gadowsky probably tends to lean into Pittsburgh’s famous sandwich stop. He almost definitely loads up his corned beef and cheese sandwich with extra fries, and I can even picture him ordering an extra side of cole slaw or two after a hard-fought win at Pegula.

Also, if you ever are lucky enough to catch a bite with Guy Gadowsky at Primanti’s, he might ask you for the pickle spear that comes on the side with your meal. We can see it happening.

Cael Sanderson: Champs

Champs is Penn State’s bar. Sorry, Doggie’s fans.

Cael Sanderson is also, arguably, Penn State’s head coach. At the helm of the toughest, winningest wrestling program, it’s hard not to associate Penn State with the man in charge of all things wrestling. Iron shapes iron, and a man as tough and well-respected as Cael Sanderson needs a bar to match — we wouldn’t be surprised if Penn State’s most reputable bar also hosted one of its most reputable head coaches from time to time.

James Franklin: Monday Champs Bachelor Night And/Or A Wine Night In

This one could honestly go either way. On one hand, we could certainly picture James Franklin at Champs with Cael Sanderson after an easily won BJC dual or a victory in Beaver Stadium.

However, Franklin is also an unconventional man. From his strange order at Starbucks to his choice of walk-out song in Beaver Stadium, it would be of character for Franklin to change things up a bit by not having a favorite bar at all.

Maybe he doesn’t like waiting in lines for drinks and refuses to shell out hundreds for LineLeap or maybe he just doesn’t want to take the chance of being recognized wherever he goes, so instead he might turn to a wine night in to celebrate. Who knows?

Regardless of what Franklin’s preference is, we’re just waiting on an invite to his basement for a few cold brews.