Before spring break, we asked you to share your best kicked-out-of-a-bar stories, and your drunken tales definitely didn’t disappoint. Whether it happened just last year or at the Skeller in 1989, your stories certainly fit our categories of shameful, wild, and hilarious.

We compiled a few of our favorite stories Penn Staters sent in for the first installment of this year’s series.

Mike — Skeller

Mike, an alum from the Class of 2009, was having a typical night out with his friends at the Skeller. When the topic of conversation shifted to telling each other their craziest college stories, Mike realized he didn’t have a story worth sharing. Determined to fix that, Mike drew up a plan.

“I said I would run home from the Skeller to North Gill Street naked for a single dollar,” Mike said.

Then, he proceeded to the men’s bathroom to strip. Once he was properly dressed, or not dressed, for the occasion, Mike ran through the bar, out the door, and all the way home in nothing but his birthday suit. He was only banned from entering the Skeller for one day, but it counts.

Anonymous — Champs

A no-name alum from the Class of 2019 was in desperate need of a smoke, but they weren’t willing to leave the bar to get it. No name and their friend decided to smoke the cigarettes inside and figured by simply blowing the smoke underneath the bar, they wouldn’t get caught. Genius, right? Wrong. Presumably, no name and their buddy were found out pretty quickly and got the boot.

Nick — Pman’s

Nick’s friend Michael is a repeat offender of getting kicked out of Pman’s for being too intoxicated. This has become such a pattern that the bouncers have started giving Michael a farewell tour when they kick him out. They escort him around the entire bar, let him say goodbye to all his friends, and drop him off at the last stop of his tour: the exit.

Sophie — Skeller

Sophie, an alum from the Class of 1989, had her hero moment at the Skeller. She saw a very intoxicated guy harassing a girl who looked less than interested, and Sophie decided to step in. Getting between the two strangers, Sophie insulted the drunk guy’s manhood and he swung (and missed) at her. When his friends got involved in the tussle, the entire group was kicked out by the bar’s bouncer.

“I never learned the girl’s name, but the guy’s name was Dick (really!)”

Bobby — The Phyrst

Bobby shared a story from spring 2008 that took place at the Phyrst. Bobby’s friend, whom he’s given the alias of “Barney,” was celebrating his 21st birthday and determined to fully embrace his newly acquired skill of legal drinking. After a few hours of pounding back various pitchers and shots, Barney suddenly turned green with the clear sign of impending puke.

“As we frantically attempted to escort him to the bathroom, Barney instinctively snatched an empty pitcher from our table, placing it up to his mouth and, within moments, filled the vessel with beer-infused vomit,” Bobby recalled. “Dumbstruck, we watched as Barney attempted to place the overflowing pitcher back on the table, but in his compromised state, he missed the target. For an instant, the pitcher perched on the edge, but with more air than wood underneath it… As we gazed in horror, the pitcher, slightly askew as if a cannon pointed at its target, plummeted towards the floor.”

According to Bobby, the surrounding tables could be considered the splash zone. A woman screamed in disgust and horror and, soon enough, a group of bouncers headed in the group’s direction to escort them out. At least Barney’s 21st birthday was memorable!

Jared — The Gaff

Jared, who graduates this year, had the unfortunate luck of a joke gone wrong. When someone walking by Jared in the Gaff accidentally bumped into him, he jokingly asked the stranger to square up with him. Upon turning around, Jared realized the person he threatened was actually the bouncer. Oops!

Noah — Pman’s

Noah blacked out at Pman’s on the weekend of the Blue-White Game and, understandably, was kicked out when he started falling asleep at the bar. Instead of taking the L, Noah went home and rummaged through his closet for a disguise.

Landing on a hat and a different shirt and pants, Noah headed back to Pman’s to join his friends in his new clothes. Unsurprisingly, the bouncers at Pman’s weren’t fooled by Noah’s tricks, and he was refused at the door. Noah knew he had to do better, so he went back home and found a purple wig to use in disguise attempt No. 2. Unfortunately, the wig was another failed attempt, and Noah returned home with nothing but a humorous picture of his ridiculous get-up taken by his friends.

“To this day, that picture is still my Twitter avatar,” Noah said.

Elizabeth — Champs

Elizabeth, a 2023 grad, was completely unaware of her wrongdoings when she got the tap on her shoulder to leave Champs. Apparently, she pulled up her shirt to jokingly flash her friend and just so happened to do so in front of a wall of mirrors. Yikes!