Facebook Marketplace is almost like its own form of social media. You can scroll for hours and leave with nothing except a hell of a lot of questions. With so many people in State College, there’s no shortage of items up for sale.

We took a deep dive into Centre County’s Facebook Marketplace. Here’s what we found.

Animatronic Bass

I don’t know what the typical price is for an animatronic bass, but this feels like a steal.

Smurf Skates

For unexplainable reasons, this is one of the best things on the list. The laces that just say “SMURF” over and over along with the branding down the front of the skate make sure you won’t forget you’re wearing Smurf skates. Plain old skates will never be the same.

Piano

To be transparent, this piano was only included because it’s free. However, after pondering things, this would probably be fantastic for the person who’s always playing the piano in the HUB. We get it, you’re a musician. Let me eat my Panda Express in peace.

Chopstick Stands

It doesn’t get much cuter than this. It’s shocking to see these have been listed for five weeks without being sold, honestly.

Lawyer Shelf Sitter

A solid C- for the proportions on this guy. Why are his hands so big? Why are his legs so long? Does he have eyeballs? Feeling uncomfortable.

Cat & Shark Shower Curtain

The shower curtain itself and the description by the seller indicate there’s probably a really funny story here. I suppose we’ll never know.

Salt & Pepper Shakers

Hear us out — if you buy the animatronic bass, the shower curtain, and these salt and pepper shakers, you’re basically halfway to a home with nautical decor.

Uranium Glass

“IT GLOWS!” Yeah, I’m sure it does. Absolutely nothing could convince me to willingly bring this into my household, not even the Google search I just did that says uranium glass is safe.

Coca-Cola Horse

Remember what we said about leaving with a hell of a lot of questions?